Surrendering to the Empty-Tomb Centered Life

 Could it be true that I don't believe in the Resurrection of Christ even though I saw it with my own eyes?

It's me who denies the resurrection of Christ when I see death as the final! The aging body as the end.


I am slowly learning..........that only God can transform us.
It's when I stare out the window into the morning fog it is then that I realize........my reality is not about my agendas..........that is not who I am.
I will only find myself when I lose myself.

Matthew 10:39;
Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Surrendering ourselves is the beginning of our transformation!

Inside the empty tomb looking out.

This lent season has hit me hard.............I am in the darkness of my sins.....feeling a sense that I have missed something important and how I am living my life untrue to myself...........to others.....to God.
I am confronting these feelings. Repenting.......Praying......asking God to show me what I really look like on the inside.
On the outside I look like a Christian..........I go to church..........I spend time with God...........I pray.   But to surrender or recklessly abandon myself to God I haven't........I can't let go of the need to control.
I am struggling to reach the bottom of my own well, trying to get water for myself.

John 4:11;

¹¹ “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water?

I have failed to recognize Jesus as the ALMIGHTY! I have some Christian attributes, but there is no abandonment or surrender to Jesus Christ!

It's time this lent season to ask God; "Show us...........what we really look like?"

What if we lived our lives with the tomb empty?
His Resurrection frees us........from ourselves. His empty tomb turns our eyes from the me, me , me kind of world and beckons us to keep our eyes on Him!

God is love........."AGAPE." Such love should inspire us......................to not be imprisoned by our own chains.............This type of Love couldn't be held captive in a cold tomb.....Nor do we have to be held captive by our sin, if we will truly SURRENDER our lives to living Christ!

"Christ must increase, and I must decrease." (apostle John)
The way up is down we live in an upside down kingdom!

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. (Revelation 22:13)


all is well,
Robbie


We are not converted only once in our lives but many times...and this endless series of large and small conversions, inner revolutions, leads to our transformation in Christ. (Thomas Merton)

Weekends are for embracing

"The Blood deals with what we have done...........whereas the Cross deals with, what we are. The Blood disposes of our sins, while the Cross strikes at the root of our capacity for sin."- Watchman Nee (China/1903-1972).

Embrace the trials and sufferings of Jesus...........That is our way to the light.

If we embrace godly disciplines.............we will have an inward joy.

May your where-abouts this weekend dear friends be one of embracing.......................LIFE. God has set LIFE and death before us..........and by His grace we choose life!

Self-discipline and Self-denial  during this Lent season is one small way we can step off the spiritual treadmill pick up our cross and follow Jesus.


all of grace,
Robbie

Lent- It's aMAZEing

I can't seem to follow through with anything this year and this new job has me spinning a bit disoriented lately.

The day before yesterday I got up early to spend time with the King.........(only happened once this week).  Knowing Lent was on it's way....... dreaming of how I wanted it to be the different this year!
It always starts out with  good intentions and ends up with me living in the flesh..........doing what I really want to do.
So I asked myself and my teens yesterday;  "What is Lent truly about?"

Is it OK that I see Lent as a time of plunging........into a deep dark maze with no-way out?
Repentance I murmur............I know I really want that.......but it's hard because I continue on pretending I am meeting Jesus in the maze of my life.

Externally, Lent is a time of doing without. It is a time of self-denial, a time of true repentance.
But inwardly, Lent is a time of drawing closer to Jesus.
This year I am wanting that...............the inward change..........drawing closer to the King! I want to know him!

Maybe it's me who is scared............worried what demands the King will make of me during the Lent season. Maybe I would like to just avoid it all together instead of being driven into a maze that I feel I can't find my way out of......a place where Satan himself has been given permission to confront me..........and maybe it's me with my prideful self that knows deep down inside I will just fail God again like I have so many times before.

I want to find my way out...............I want a HEART transformation that only true repentance can bring.........but is the maze too much for me?  Fear makes me want to run from it all............RUN from repentence run from transformation .........staying on my spiritual treadmill of  running in place that is going NO-where!

Am I closed..............to the very GRACE of God?  This may be...........my opportunity of CHANGE! Change can be so hard..........but it also can be so a-MAZE-ing!  If this is true that Lent is offering us a chance to CHANGE and  an opportunity for TRANSFORMATION.........then I want it.......I am willing to be a risk taker...........willing to getting lost in the maze that is before me. Join me want you? In this rare opportunity to start a fresh....to journey INWARD it is our next phase of life with the King.

Let this day be our day of departure.........we are beginning our inward journey:  "ashes to ashes and dust to dust."  It's all about self-denial...........and getting away from the world and spending time with the King!  "Dust we are and dust we shall return."

He is beckoning us to walk with Him with our hands held open ready to receive the unlocking of our real self............ trusting Him through the maze of life where our eyes and ears can't help us because we are walking in submission.......obedience........and surrender to God. It starts with the smallest of surrenders............by opening our hearts to the grace of  Lent..............His Grace!

At the end it will be aMAZEing!

all is well,
Robbie

Valentine's Day= Change

What is it that I want for Valentine's Day? Not change I scream!

As he packs his bags to leave for his trip it's me who stands there with a blank stare on my face as.......he kisses me good-bye and whispers, "quit if you want!"

I had placed them through-out his clothes secretly hiding them in pockets.......I wanted to write my own Valentine's!

What is it that I love? A clean house..................more organization?
What about my heart? What does God see when He looks inside? Maybe it's God who is removing the dead places in me.

It's a new hospital..........but a hospital just the same...............God changing my paths.............me wanting out.....looking for an escape route.........feeling like I can't find my place in this world...............wanting to simply RUN!

Everything changed and opened a new this week!  And I am not capable of stepping out of the boat.(me of so little faith)
I feel like a spoiled brat........Can I really cry the hard because I don't want to do this anymore?............It was the girl brought to me from surgery who has the nothing left but PAIN to endure.
She who has lost everything with the stage 4 cancer that started in her rectum.......moved to her colon.........then to her brain, liver and lungs. It is the all over............and it's me who screams that I only had a 15 min break in 14 hours! Can I really look at her covered up in pain from the bowel that no longer works?  Can I really look at her with tears in my eyes because I simply want to be at home? For what?  Who am I wonder?  I don't think I really know...........because at the end of the day the laundry still piles and there are still crumbs on the counter and beds unmade............and it's then that I remember A perfect organized house is not soul winning...............it's not where the sick and the dying are. It's not the kind of servant-hood Jesus is looking for.
He didn't leave us here on this earth to be saved and sanctified...........He left us here to be at work in service to Him. Our life of service to God is our way of saying; "Thank you for our salvation!"

He wants us to be the CHANGE we want to see in the world!

I am the sad because it's God who is moving me..........changing me...............molding me into something I don't want! I close my eyes and I try to praise Him........but the words don't seem to come..............maybe I am in bondage...............and it's me, (infested with self)  who keeps me there! Maybe I am scared to admit it............is God really good all the time? And He whispers to me..........."I am entrusting you with much." And for those whom much is entrusted much more is demanded! And it's then that the enemy whispers in my ear...........run........run and never look back at any hospital...............It's you with many degrees you can do anything you want...........Why stay at the hospital where people are dying?............. Where feces is running off the bed?   Where vomit hits you in the face?.......where some patients throw their bed-pans at you..........cuss you..... expose you to their diseases......their infections.........some that have no cure............RUN!
RUN from the long shifts with no breaks.......from the day that never ends!
But it all stops when I look into their eyes..........and it's His face that I see...........hurting...........suffering...........stripped of all dignity....I see a Creator who became His creation only to ......... feel pain..........to know suffering........to taste death............so that we would never have too.   It's then that I see a change in their eyes..........when you tell them about the blood of the Lamb who is a river of infinite grace...........I see their eyes change...........right there in a cold dark hospital room........a glimpse of hope...........as if His very presence swoops down in that room and our ever present God who's voice is louder than any enemies........who is willing to offer a drink from the living waters for anyone who thirsts for Him. And I don't understand why He would chose me..............someone who craves the easy....who doesn't know suffering...........who only wants to run...........but I slip my hand in hers.........she is only 47.................she looks at me the strange and it's me who has something to say........and I risk it....I tell her; "that in the midst of a world of pain it is a subject for praise in every place!" "That our souls were never created to LOVE the dust of this earth!" For there is power in the blood of Calvary!......(quoted from ;the valley of vision-prayer book)

Maybe getting out of the boat is to testify to the hurt and the dying that God is long suffering!

Psalm 86:15;

¹⁵But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, long suffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth.

 God is forever moving..........refusing to stand still even for a moment.... sometimes asking us to get out of the boat even when it's uncomfortable or hard.........because we serve a God who is looking to and fro for anyone who will TRUST Him or............have FAITH in Him.................or someone willing to keep their eyes on Him! Wanting to show us through pain.............through suffering...........a piece of Him...........His goodness.............His grace.................and to know that even bad things can be used.......for our good........and His glory even when we can't see it!
I beg to breath............in grace...........His grace for all to be well within my soul!

It is simple really we only need to step out of the boat into the unknown.......uncharted waters diving deep into His promises and fulfillment's. Join me want you?

Jeremiah 29:11;

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

all of grace,
Robbie

Weekends are for AGAPE love

Agape is love which is of and from God, whose very nature is love itself.

 AGAPE love.................... means self-sacrifice!

 The Apostle John affirms this in 1 John 4:8: “God is love.” God does not merely love; He is love itself.

He loves the unlovable and the unlovely (us!)

In the same way, we are to love others sacrificially!

May this weekend be one of loving...............one not based on a feeling......but a determined act of the will, a joyful resolve to put the welfare of others above our own.

Blessings sweet friends,

all is well

Robbie

The Grace of the Cross

Pondering these things in my heart in the wee hours of the morning.........before light breaks.
From the saints before us:

O My Savior,
I thank thee from the depths of my being
for thy wondrous grace and love
     in bearing my sin in thine own body on the tree.
May thy cross be to me
as the tree that sweetens my bitter Marahs,
as the rod that blossoms with life and beauty,
as the brazen serpent that calls forth the look of faith.
By thy cross CRUCIFY my every sin;
Use it to increase my intimacy with thyself;
Make it ground of all my comfort,
     the liveliness of all my duties,
     the sum of all thy gospel promises,
     the comfort of all my afflictions,
     the vigour of my love, thankfulness, graces,
     the very essence of my religion;
And by it give me that rest without rest,
the rest of ceaseless praise.

O MY LORD AND SAVIOR,
Thou hast also appointed a cross for me to take up and carry,
                                          a cross before thou givest me a crown.
Thou hast appointed it to be my portion,
but self-love hates it,
carnal reason is unreconciled to it;
without the grace of patience I cannot bear it,
                                                                   walk with it, profit by it.
O blessed cross, what mercies dost thou bring with thee!
Thou art only esteemed hateful by my rebel wills,
heavy because I shirk thy load.
Teach me, gracious Lord and Saviour,
that with my cross thou sendest promised grace
   so that I may bear it patiently,
that my cross is thy yoke which is easy,
        and thy burden which is light.

Why did you do it? Stay up there on that cross?
You our Creator...........took it all............ the sin of the world upon yourself for us your creation.
You put on skin to feel it..........to taste it..........to die......all for us!
The veil was torn from top to bottom..............but it is us your creation that continues trying to stitch that curtain back together to hang it between the Creator and us His creation!

You did it because you didn't want to be separated from us your creation............so the whole earth could be full of your Glory!
You washed away our sins with your blood that dripped that day on Calvary.
You removed the barrier and Satan has helped Religion put the curtain back up to keep us separated from you.
Religion has helped us think that you putting on flesh wasn't enough!
We "Christians," are the walking dead when in reality we are supposed to be ALIVE IN CHRIST!

When I truly think about what He did..........my breath catches in my throat and it's then that I want to fall to my knees and cry out.............."holy, holy, holy!"
I feel it in my whole body.........He loves us! He truly loves us!

Today is the day of remembering...........that He loves you............He loves me......and now is the moment that we can truly learn to LIVE! Live willing to allow ourselves to be poured out so He can pour in!





all of grace,
Robbie

Roses are red

I count the petals falling...............it's on my way to cook dinner last night that I stop..... I count.
It's quiet falling. It's grace...............His grace that gently falls our way.
But am I focused? Focused on all the grace that so gently has landed on my path? Or am I focused on me...me....me.

Some days I fight to cling to my reality..............of the daily starting over and over again with the unmade beds the dishes piled high.......... the phone that never stops ringing.......... days that seem to be running together all the while I am murmuring.......... 24 hours is never enough!

The truth is what do I see when I look in the mirror?
Do I see another day of grace? Or more lines on my face..........Can beauty be purchased?
Isn't beauty supposed to be in the eye of the beholder?

We are His vessels waiting and needing to be filled with living waters..........the beauty is in the here and now. The beauty is the gift of growing older...........the grey hair and lines on my face....it is all a gift!
It is the gift of time.........time to grow into obedience.........to become living sacrifices.
I don't want to miss it...... the moment of being transformed..........into His likeness.
He is our beauty that was broken for you and for me!  It isn't about the..........growing older but the chance to grow closer to the one who gave His all.

All the days to come I wish to be a womb for God.........for time is short...........I will pray to be a dwelling place for the most High King.  Even when the world keeps me spinning I will whisper; "come dwell come dwell!"

And when I see my reflection again in the mirror it's not me that I see.............it's His grace He has allowed for another day!

Matthew 5:5;

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.



all is well,
Robbie



the gifts in the now:

husband sitting close at church
warmer weather
coffee in the morning
microwave that is broke
the dishwasher handle falling to the floor
the youngest teen saying God laid something on her heart
the teens learning the power of His name when they are scared; JESUS
riding with the windows down in the old truck with the dog
growing older
more lines on my face
grey hair
realizing that this world is not my home
letting go of fear
embracing joy
counting blessings

Weekends are for praising Him

May your weekend be one of praising the King,

Psalm 105

¹ Give praise to the LORD, proclaim his name;
make known among the nations what he has done. ² Sing to him, sing praise to him;
tell of all his wonderful acts.
³ Glory in his holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.
⁴ Look to the LORD and his strength;
seek his face always.



Praise is like a flower blooming..............it's in the moments of now.  Breathing in grace and exhaling praises.


all of grace,
The Sisters

Humility

God's grace is all around us............Am I quiet enough to hear it?  See it?  Feel it? 
     When I first heard the word "haughtiness," I had no idea what this word meant? I had been praying the long............seeking the face of God and I asked the Holy Spirit to reveal to me anything in my heart that I needed to ask for forgiveness for.............it was then I heard the word for the first time...."haughtiness."     I had to google it to look up the meaning............and it said:

disdainfully proud; snobbish; scornfully arrogant; but at the end.........there it was in bold letters........."PRINCESS PRIDE."

Wow I thought me with my wretched self now I can add "princess pride."

Humility is what I seek...................maybe this is the start to seeing myself as I truly am............but with the door of humility beginning to swing wide open!

Is this the moment I have been praying for?................The one where I can release my grip and surrender my all?

But it is me with my fists clinched tight.  Scared to release to the prayers murmured in the quiet.
Scared of the breaking.............the dying of self.

It's the dawn and it's me who fumbles through prayer. Feeling stiff neck and lost. Die to self I say it over and over again. But "the flesh is the strong," I scream............there is a war that is waging for my very own soul.

If I put on the Armor of God and wear humility then would I not be afraid to die?
Jesus was the meaning to humility when He allowed himself to be nailed to a cross.


Philippians 2:8

⁸ And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

Isaiah 66:2
² Has not my hand made all these things,
and so they came into being?”
declares the LORD.
“These are the ones I look on with favor:
those who are humble and contrite in spirit,
and who tremble at my word.

He made Himself the very least of these.........coming into a mess for the stentch of my sin and yours.
Could I humble myself just a little more............to die to self is to break yourself from pride.....or should I say........"princess pride."
He who washed the feet of His disciples...........showing the true meaning of humility..........and servant- hood. And in a striking demonstration of LOVE for His enemies when He washed the feet of Judas.

Because of the Cross we humans can understand HUMILITY......which must serve as a model for us all.

We must continue to bend............into the places that are messy where people are not the pretty and serve..........because we serve a Savior who came to be a servant!

Join me this week in learning to bend the lower...........because lower is where we just might see His face!

all is well,
Robbie