Woe is me

I tell them all I am leaving..........slamming the door the hard. It is as I speed away that I hang my head and cry the hard.
     It all started out so good today with the Church activities and praises the ones where the hands were held the high.......at one moment feeling.............as if I was washed in His blood. I squeeze the steering wheel the tight as my tears turn into sobs. I am the broken......I am the one who wants to do good but I don't.....it's the tongue that whips out words that pierce the hard and it's me who aims for their hearts. Maybe it's the me who is too broken to be fixed.

     It's the sixteen year old who does the nothing to help around the house....who starts everyday with an agenda that takes her deep into Babylon........she eats and drinks from the "kings," table. She is the blending............and becoming like the people of Babylon..... reminding me of my past.
     It's always the tone that wakes the sleeping lion............the flesh.   Her words come at me fast and at first I hold my tongue....  then it's the ugly sin that comes and my tongue whips back the hard.....and our whole day is wrecked............it goes all the way back to Adam and Eve in the garden. They to listened to the lies of the evil one.(as he told them that God was a liar)
Why is it that I think it is my job to hang on to my Salvation?
Salvation is a GIFT. It is free, and Praise God there is nothing we can do to earn it, hang on to it or even get rid of it!

      I drove the fast and sobbed the harder with the no-where to go.  Thinking if only I could.......?
I would......? I felt broken with a contrite heart? Is this the fullness that Jesus ordered?
     Wanting so badly to run.......but with the no-where to go. Wondering if Daniel felt that way in Babylon.  Daniel RESOLVED....knowing that was the only way to Grace.
     I am a rebel running hard who keeps the rejecting............rejecting the one true way-Jesus. Sometimes panting hard after him........but at the same time listening..........to the lies of the evil one.
Maybe it's the me that enjoys rolling around in the UGLY? After all I earned it.

          The bible teaches us we are all made in His image? Shouldn't the world see Him in us? Then how much more should our own family see him in us?
     Our pastor talked today about his own battles these last few weeks....he said he felt at times he was standing in the Ocean and wave after wave kept hitting him knocking him over...... not even letting him catch his breath.....he told us that this was the worst spiritual battle he had ever been through. Telling us how God would use our weaknesses to make us strong. The tears stung my eyes because lately I have felt like I am swimming upstream against a strong current and going the nowhere.
It's then that I grow tired and weary.........and then it's the replay in my mind of everything I have ever done.....how I can't get it right......... thinking HOW? How could God love me?.....me a women with a past? A mother who's tongue stabs the hearts of the one's she loves.
     Raising my own flesh and blood is sometimes about ME looking in the mirror....... and all I see is the dirty........ starring back at me. It is me that has been listening to the hissing of the serpent saying (God has not forgiven you).
     It's then that I realize what dying the flesh daily is truly about.
Why can't we except that we DON'T have a past in CHRIST?
 Woe is me...........the one with the unclean lips.... but my Redeemer lives.
Although my stomach growls from the lack of food in my stomach it is now that I realize my emptiness is far deeper than I could have ever imagined.
I am starved for Him........and His righteousness. I beg for more "grace," please.
I continue to cry over my "sin," in my me-ism little world as I drive back home..........running hard up the stairs to hold a teen as I ask for forgiveness.
In a world that constantly bombards us with pressures to CONFORM we must remember....."he who has called you is faithful"......and His grace gives us the desire and the power to be HOLY.
Our God is a good God.....He loves us! The past that keeps playing through my mind is not from Him....it is from Satan. I know I am not where I need to be but praise God I am not where I used to be.
Through Salvation we are saved in Christ! He saved us before we even knew we needed to be saved.

all of grace,
Robbie


Keeping on giving thanks for His Amazing Grace:

Seeing and hugging Ann VosKamp in person and being able to tell her how much God has used her to change my life.
Clothes everywhere for my sweet Belarus child to take home.
Snow boots that she will need
A warm fuzzy blanket to take back to her mom
Clean Sheets
A new clothes line
A brother who will answer the phone late
A nephew who cries the hard for me
Fresh squeezed lemonade
Hamburgers on the grill
Home with my family
waking up in my bed


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Weekends are for enjoying His light

Job 33:28

He redeemed my soul from going down to the pit, and I will live to enjoy the light.

 

He that spoke the day into Light.

and He who spoke the world into being.

Enjoy the light feel the warmth of the sun beam down upon you today like God's grace.

There are shadows here and light falls everywhere is the light.

May all your wanderings this weekend be one of moving toward Him who is our light of the world.

all of grace,

Robbie

Rejoice in the Lord Always

" Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."  Philippians 4: 4-9

The journey to become the person God wants us to be- begins with learning to disciple our minds- to focus on what is right rather than what is wrong.
Use God's word to reprogram your mind by turning the attention to the positive rather than the negative.
Romans 12:1  "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." The mind is a primary battlefield and will either help or hinder your goal of becoming the person God wants you to become.
As you think new and positive thoughts, your attitude will change.

Change your mind- then behavior- attitude- your actions- You will then begin to notice that you can change your circumstances. Happiness comes from within- it is a choice!

Rejoicing in the Lord is one of the hardest things that I have to do. But I do need to remember daily that God has a plan for me- not to harm me- but to bring me closer to him.

I have so much to be thankful for! I pray for a humble heart- To allow myself to always be thankful- to see the good in situations and in people. What I want more than anything on this earth- is for others to see Jesus in me! I pray for strength- not to let my guard down- to be weakened by the flesh. I want to walk daily with Jesus- in full armor- ready for anything.
In His Service
Amy

Rainbow Express

Snap shots of His grace.............

     So thankful for these girls of mine who gave a  week of their lives for these precious children of God.............

The Best Camp in the World.................."RAINBOW EXPRESS."

 Sean my 16 year old and her new friend "Tori."

 The daughter of one of my close friends.............."Mandy," who also gave of her-self to serve this week and what an little angel God had in store for her............all of my girls were fighting to hold her!

 Gracie my middle daughter who came home from her first day at camp as a counselor and said:
"Mommy, God gave me my twin!!!!! She and I are so much alike!!!!" "We even have the same personality etc."  "Then I noticed looking around that God gave all of us our twins".....Isn't God amazing......This precious child is named "Julia."

In this program the teens are learning what it means to bend the lower.

Every year for one week Matthews United Methodist Church host "Rainbow Express."

 High-School and College kids train for months on Sunday nights to meet the requirements to be a counselor.

Only certain ones are chosen for this.......my girls and I held our breath praying and hoping that they would be able to participate. It was the highlight of our summer!

These teens bend......... to wipe faces that drool.......they bend to change diapers of children who are older than them....they hold ones having spasms....they speak for the ones who can't speak........they don't eat their lunch until their new friends eat first..... they hold each others hands to pray before meals and their hearts split wide open with love.

These teens radiated His nature.........dying to their-selves.....coming to Him only to serve.

This is the first principle in the Kingdom of God, that most of us "adults," will never get.

The doorway to the Kingdom was opened this week......"blessed are the pure in heart," for they shall see God.

At the end of everyday we sing praises to the King. We tell them stories of a heavenly king that was born a pauper and how He did the unthinkable to die for you and me..

I stare out into the crowd as I have seen God everywhere to watch these teens give so self-lessly.

The tears that sting my eyes as I stand in awe of His Glory.......knowing that I came to be the nurse but got so much more in return.....I whisper thanks again and again for the way this experience has blessed me...... for I learned from them......the tears start to fall and joy overflows..."I saw God today," in each and everyone of their precious faces.

I sit here today me in my me-ism little world amazed that I was given an opportunity to share a story such as this. Knowing that the lower we bend the more we will see.

Witnessing the here and the now..........the sight of His glory.
An awakening to my very soul...........as my heart cries out over and over again; "thank you Lord."
No-where does He leave himself without witness.............even the rocks will cry out "Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty."

::
 For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.  (Romans 1:20)

all of grace,

Robbie

Give me your eyes...................

We want to see with your eyes.............

If we see will we believe.................................

 Are we open to see? Is our hearts open? To see with gratitude......

Trusting.............trusting in the goodness of God...........
working in Neuro Surgical Critical Care today............let me see with your eyes Lord..............
all of grace,
Robbie


thankful today for;

the piles of stuff everywhere
family dinners
the rain
the laundry that is never done
a best friend
the crumbs on the counter
the sunlight
glass doors
children that have started their own gratitude journal
teenagers

                                                                                                                        

Strength comes from working the muscles....

I was stopped today in my prayer time by one thing in particular that I felt my heart cry out for...something that is dear to me and I felt as if God was bringing it to surface today for individual "special" prayer time and as a teaching moment for myself.  As I prayed, I began to ask God to help to lift some of the heaviness, some of the weight off of this individual.  But, then my prayer turned...my eyes were opened to something else...

      See, I started to think about how we use our muscles and if we do not use a muscle for a long period of time, that muscle will start to waste away.  In order to keep that muscle strong, you must use it and exercise it.  The more that muscle group is used, the stronger it becomes.  The more you deny that muscle group any type of "heaviness", the more it waste away and becomes "UN-use-able".  So, my prayer changed and I began to ask God not to remove all of the weight from the individual, and not to take away all of the "worries" in their lives, because I believe that we need to carry some weight sometimes in order to keep our muscles strong. 

     This doesn't mean that God will not help you carry some of the weight of this world and help you to move about in life, but if we ask Him to totally take away the heaviness and worries, then are we depriving ourselves of being strengthened? 
Some things come into our lives to train us and mold us....yes, to be more like Him.  Sometimes the heaviness of this world (with our family, our work, our children, and spouses, our loved ones, health issues, financial burdens, etc) may be allowed into our lives to teach us new ways to handle them and to strengthen us in the process of dealing with them.  God is there to help hold them when they become too heavy. 
Just like at the gym...some weights are too heavy for us to lift and we need a "spotter" to watch over us as we lift them to make sure they don't come crashing down onto our chest.  God is that "spotter"...ready to lift the weight off or to relieve a bit of its pressure by placing His finger under the weight to help you to bring it all the way up and place it back onto the holder.  But, what if God constantly lifted the weight, brought it down to our chest, and then lifted it back up onto the holder while we just laid there on the bench?  Would we grow in strength?  Would our muscles become stronger?  No, we wouldn't benefit at all from it.  Our muscles, if not used, will waste away and become limp and brittle and eventually break apart.

      God is the all consuming, all knowing, all present God.  He is there when we need Him, the very minute that we need Him.  He will not allow us to be crushed.  His word says to "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken" (Psalm 55:22).
He will sustain us...sometimes we need to carry some of the burdens, and ask God to show us how to carry them, how to move in them, and how to react to them appropriately.  We can learn so much if we are open to being taught. 
So my prayer began to change.  I began to cry out for God to not lift the weight completely off, but to allow the weight to be used for Him to teach this individual how to act in it with all of its heaviness and for this individual to be strengthened, and to grow stronger in the Lord and to draw closer to Him in the process.  And when the weight is too much for them to carry, then God is there to sustain them.  The definition of sustain is  "to support, hold, or bear up from below; bear the weight of, as a structure"(dictionary.com).  The Hebrew word for sustain is "saad" which is also translated as "to support, sustain, stay".  God can support the weight without totally taking it completely away.Whatever it is that you are carrying today, whatever you feel is weighing you down...ask God to show you why you are feeling this way and how you can be strengthened through it. 

    

     God is right here waiting to sustain you and ready to teach you how to be strengthened...just ask.

Jennifer

God is Love

Come on over and join me at Faithful Devotions if you are looking for some God is love...moments.....little raindrops of grace falling down allowing us to feel
 His tenderness which indeed is inexpressibly sweet!
all of grace my dear friends,

http://faithfuldevotions.com/encouragement/god-is-love.



thankful for;

lemonade stands in the heat
husband who plants the more flowers
the blood of Jesus
for the pastor who cries the hard
for girlfriends that feel your pain
God's grace
 my old church pew
prayer books from the saints before us
finding forks in the teen's bed
glitter all over the floor
sea-shell necklaces
rocking chairs and sweet tea
rain
birds that chirp early in the morning during my prayer time
the work that is never done
craziness that life brings
for a Saviour who loves
Repentance
My Redeemer Lives


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