Surrender

That thing that weighs you down.........straps you.................entraps you. Does it really matter?
Does anything really matter? Life can strip you of you.........it can twist you into knots of pain.
Everything can be stripped away and tossed into the fire..........so HOW? How do I allow God to use my talents that He has given me to perplex His kingdom forward?

Be careful of making friends with the Holy Spirit because He will ask you to die!!!!!

We must learn to let go...............letting go of self desires............and pursue God's purpose. Letting go of control...............trusting.
Just as God let go of His son for us, we need to totally live in absolute surrender.

I feel like I am asleep......................day sleeping that is.  I am standing in the kitchen this morning.........trying to sort out my to do list before the day begins. With Christmas behind us I am trying to remember to just breath.

Wanting to know how...........to weave through the tangled mess of all the Christmas decorations..........and the tangled mess that life can sometimes weave. It is then that I remember............that the coming of Christ was about God himself entering.........................into the mess of this world, from the humble beginnings in a manger to the painful death of; "the cross."

God surrendered............his son.
Jesus surrendered ...............his life.
What is it that have I surrendered?

It is today that I have to truly ask myself....................do I really want to surrender my all?
Because if I DO REALLY want to SURRENDER.........my all then I have to pick up my cross and follow him?
Maybe it is me that is afraid of being inconvenienced.......... that total surrender and...........reckless abandonment to the King would bring.
Maybe I ENJOY feeding my flesh!
I have thought about the life changes that would need to take place to follow God and it's then that I am overwhelmed..........as I toss and turned last night in my bed with all these thoughts it simply boiled down to; "inconvenience."  The thought of being inconvenienced scares me. I say I want more of God but do I really? I pray and I ask God what is it that you have for me?  And the verse that continues to resurface over and over again:

Jeremiah 29:11

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

 The only reason that I can think of for not seeking God with all my heart, soul and mind is purely selfish reasons.

I often wonder when the testing will come...............not if the testing will come but WHEN the testing will come..................and He will whisper..........."will you..............Robbie..........sacrifice it all for me?"
I want so badly to say yes.............I scream and I cry out remember that I am made from dust!

Luke 22:31-32;

³¹ “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. ³² But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

 Not if you turn back but WHEN..........

Romans 7: 19-25;
 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
²¹ So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²² For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³ but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. ²⁴ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? ²⁵ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature^[d] a slave to the law of sin.

So yesterday I make that same familiar trek into the hospital with a new attitude...........a smile as big as my face...............walking through the halls of some of the sickest patients.........kissing foreheads........wiping up vomit.............wiping up feces...............and praising the King for an opportunity to see people through His eyes. It is in that moment that I see she is still in the ICU over 30 days now;  the complete stranger that I love....................the 24 year girl who turned 25 yesterday.  I am not prepared for the sight that meets the eyes............she is pale and smaller...........she is still unable to actually speak or eat. Her vocal cords have continued to remain paralyzed. So they gave her a trach and it leaks thick white secretions non-stop. ............I actually spend a few moments in time marveling...........that she is alive! She is weak but smiles a faint kind of smile as she reaches for my face.
She hasn't been able to eat in months............so she mouths the words to me that today is the day that they place a permanent feeding tube and do I think that is OK?
I stare right into her eyes for a long moment..........it is then that I see Him in her............bruised...........broken...........and although I want to fix her I know I can't.......but I tell her that we are;  "children of the most high God!" And although we must share in His suffering we also get to share in His Glory! So we must call out to Him and lay everything at His feet.
Tears stream down both of our faces and I tell her PRAISE HIM anyway!!!!!! Praise Him through all of this. You are alive and He knows the plans He has for you!!!! Plans for a future and plans not to harm you!!!!
He is still a God of miracles today!!!!! A God that became one of us so He could feel our pain and taste our death............HE LOVED!

John 3:16

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.


I am asking myself today and everyday......................"How often Lord...........How often I have neglected to do for the least of these?"

You see this young woman.........brain tumor and all is a child of the most High King........and He will stop at nothing to go and retrieve the one lost sheep! Pray for your eyes to be the opened..........to see through His eyes.

Life is busy and we can become so infested with ourselves...........but let us not forget that we were created to LOVE and...........God is LOVE............and if we surrender our will for HIS then it is at that moment that we become most Christ like!!!! Join me will you on this scary but amazing ride? For we are the BODY of CHRIST! Don't you want to see and feel what He feels?

all of grace,

Robbie

so grateful to the gifts that keep on coming; sending my praises to the King;

for the sunshine this morning
the cold crisp air
sap on the hardwoods from the real Christmas tree
a new season
the seal of God
kindness
mason jars
sweet tea
homemade banana bread
chocolate chip pancakes
warmth in front of a fire
squeezing hands in prayer before meal
early Christmas Eve service at church
remembering the birth of our Savior
candle light flickering into the night
curling up with a good book while teens cuddle close watching a movie