Do not forget in the darkness what you have been promised in the light.
"Praying is no easy matter. It demands a relationship in which you allow someone other than yourself to enter into the very center of your person, to see there what you would rather leave in the darkness, and to touch there what you would rather leave untouched."
Henri Nouwen
It all happens so easily......rough days several in a row and I forget......... it is me who has been called by the most high to see suffering...............the kind that breaks you.......leaves you feeling bare and exposed. Your heart peeled back a couple of layers............the layers where the flesh is fresh and the wounds hurt. Yes I ask myself WHY? Why do I do this.........even at times putting myself in danger when the contaminated blood flies high?
It is then that I hear it in my heart............I do it for JESUS!
Is it that I FORGET? Forget WHY I am doing it? I think sometimes WOW it would have been so nice to be called to be a Beth Moore!! lol
But instead..........HE called me to be the one to wipe the vomit and the feces off the floor and the patient........He called me to take care of the HIV patient who is having seizures and throws punches and his own blood at me!!!!! Yes and for a moment I do forget...........forget who it is that I really am?
29 For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him, (Philippians 1:29)
I do it for Jesus.........because He himself came and did it for me! He being God himself made himself nothing but a humble SERVANT.
Servant= discipline= obedience= "disciple"
Obedient.............even to his death hanging on a cross.
Who am I? I am called.........to be a servant to the ones that sometimes the world rejects
and when I am scared...........when you are scared breath...............breath in more of his grace.....and just say His name.............JESUS.........the only name that matters.
When the contaminated blood started to fly..........the fear that enveloped me............he was in real danger of hurting himself......... at 200 or more pounds and 6 foot 4...........I was in real danger too.
It was then that I looked at the other nurse helping me....she was holding one of his arms with half of a restraint left and me with the other it was then I said start SINGING...................sing Jesus loves me!
And so we did......and within seconds the patient stopped..................stopped trying to fight us and closed his eyes and listened to us sing. We had to keep singing until help arrived (and let me just say I can't carry a tune !!!!)
So knowing that in this life that there can be dark places.................. places we have been led and sometimes it is in those dark places where the fear tries to stand up and grab you but if you listen closely you just might hear Jesus whisper......................"the one who has called you is faithful."
And it is then that I realize instead of asking," who am I really?" or "what on earth am I doing?"..........it is time to ask myself...........am I WILLING?................WILLING TO GO?
where the Lord's plans take me? Even if it puts my life at risk?
Love................is the greatest commandment of all................LOVE EACH OTHER!
When you love the unlovable you are loving Jesus.
When you feed the hungry you are feeding Jesus.
When you cloth the one who has the nothing...........you cloth Jesus.
God is asking US to share to the world where sometimes people have never felt LOVE or don't feel loved now due to diseases............illnesses................disfigurements.
How much............how much can we the one's who blend in with the world show LOVE to those who know no love?
all is grace,
Robbie
