a husband who loves.
Sometimes its me who's heart swells so full of love that it aches as it pumps me pure full of joy!
wishing................wishing that I had laughed more when we were the young.
remembering that first meeting...........I was only the 18 and you.........had a funny accent. (being from Maine, and me from Alabama)
What is love?..............it is the self-less sacrifice that you yourself have taught me so much about.
You have always been the one who could see...................the beauty of grace...........that out weighs the craziness of our life.
I saw love yesterday in the ICU when a young man had to let go....................the giving up...........as his wife went on to bluer skies...............with the three little ones that are the left behind.....I had to ask myself the why?
I think of my husband and the life that slips on by...... I stand with the Doc. as he tries to find the words that will be the good bye.............. My stomach knots the hard........and I think how fast the decades fly. I think about how I want to hold on to you and make it the forever in my arms.
Her husband bends the hard now the kind of bend where......he's gasping........gasping for air knowing that when he breaths in the only air that enters his lungs will be the pureness of pain.........of the forever changed. I want to speak...............I open my mouth but the nothing comes.
I start to say that "His ways are not our ways." but the words never came.
My own grief swells within me...............as I fight back the tears. I bite my lower lip and pray that the ugly cry doesn't come. I say kindly "excuse me," as I make a mad exit to the right................ I proceed to collapse in the arms of another nurse who cries the long and the hard with me. Knowing we were the seeing today..........the seeing of us and them as the same.
Luke 12: 4-7;
4;“I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. 5 But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after your body has been killed, has authority to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him. 6 Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
So I wanted to tell you on this day;
It's the you these days that so easily believes and sees the goodness of God. You have grown so open and so willing to do the receiving.
We aren't the entitled to the guarantee of the longevity of the happily ever after........but GRACE............His grace...............is what we are the given in the now.
It made me the wondering as I watched the spouse of the dying young............isn't it all of us that our days are the numbered that we take for granted.
Life is full of twists and turns................even the kind that can be the hurting. It can come at us fast and hard.
Sometimes the letting go..........is the only way to surrender.
You have always been the remembering kind.................remembering to put the me and the girls first!
The way you have lived your life.................says so much about who you are.
You are the strong.........the kind that puts family first................knowing that living with four women can be the hard kind of living! You are the real.............the real kind of man......... always laying your needs aside...........to see that our needs are the first.
I ask my-self another WHY? Why haven't I spent the last 17 years of our marriage...........pulling you the closer...........laughing until it hurts more and.............telling you more that the love I feel is the indescribable!
Wanting you to know more than ever that it is you that has split me the wide open and caused my heart to swell with a love that has pumped through my veins the deep............. the deepest kind of love.
You are the one who has made me a better woman!
Wanting to live life like everyday is the last kind of days...........so that you will know that through these years of being together..........I have never learned so much as I have learned from the you.
Even the little things have melted my heart while the house is sleeping and you are too but yet your hand can find mine in the darkness and give me calmness...........the calmness of being joined together as one.
You are the faithful............and the years are slipping by........wanting to make it the counting kind......and not the wasteful.
Her husband starts the leave..........he opens up the wide and says he doesn't know the how...........it is at that moment that I take his face into my hands and whisper it's all about grace...........his grace.........it is then that I tell him how he self-lessly loved her..............that he surrendered the strong............that it is going to be the OK. He says he is going to miss her and I hold him as he cries...........and I tell him again to go ahead and fall the hard right into the arms of the saviour.
It's by God's grace alone that the years have made us the one. Not the knowing when our time will come.
We are the older now and praying for us to never waste a second of love.....wanting to never have those regrets............of the missing of what it could have been. Here I am again with the no words.............the words that cannot come............but the knowing................knowing when I look at you I still come completely undone.
Wishing you the most Happiest Fathers Day ever!
Loving you has been the easy,
wanting you to know I would walk down that altar with you again and again and again.
Robbie
