Today all times collide.........It was FRIDAY then.................and it is FRIDAY today....................What was once then.....is the mystery of the holy story today.....................let us faithfully and fearfully remember........
There before me a "tomb," surrounded by beautiful gardens....Amy and I take our hands and run them along side the rough walls......and around to the cave's openings......we so excited take our heads and poke them right through the cave's openings......we enter.............wanting to sit and stay awhile...............but we cannot.................we must return to tell others...............THE TOMB IS EMPTY........It is beautiful because it is empty........
...............sometimes the emptiness all around us can bring us to our knees................the surrendering kind....................where the joints do ache and the snot does fly..............the contrite heart.............a humbleness that can only come from the purging within one's very own soul..............pouring it out......pouring out your heart........like dirty water.................
The door to the tomb was a hole........a hole in stone......no higher than a human waist.......................Praying for the opening............the opening kind that leads to fullness.....................the fullness of grace............
Luke 24: 1-5;
1 On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. 2 They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, 3 but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. 4 While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. 5 In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? 6 He is not here; he has risen!
me who craves the easy.........that wants the death and the resurrection all in one. Me the one than cannot bear the weight....knowing that the dark night of the soul is only for a time..............but having the hope that is promised to us........knowing that after the dying comes the living...............the re-birthing of the self.......and the everything is given back through His glorious resurrection!!!!!
and our precious Lord God, whose blessed Son our Savior gave his body to be whipped and his face spit upon......Give us grace......to accept joyfully the sufferings of the present time......confident of the glory that shall be revealed; through Jesus Christ your son our Lord....(book of common prayer)
I say it over and over again today............give us more of your saving grace.........grace......more grace please as if I can beg, borrow or steal more.............as if I can store it up and save it for a later date..........
I wonder if it is the car ride to the beach this week....................because I was living the tired...........I screamed the stop over and over and the teenagers continued their fight to kill............
was it because the littlest one who cried her self to sleep because I hadn't taken the time to listen..........to listen how she had to sleep on her stomach because of her sunburn......is it because I am living the tired all the time that I allowed the hair.....the un kept hair to grow and there were the knots..............the knots of life........on this Good Friday when the world keeps turning and the world keeps aching.............am I the one living my life the undone?..............the afraid?..........the afraid that they will grow up............grow up and be just like the me?
The cry of my heart Lord from this twenty-first century girl.............. can I attend the burial?.......Your dying is never far away for my own is close...........I cry for the sorrow of the being..................the very being of your death...............but I cry also...............the cry of gratitude..........thanking you in this sacred season. and praying to be rescued................rescued from thy self..............praying for the how today to die the self......
wanting the dying today of the me............and being reborn with the you that so clearly shows in me...
all of grace,
Robbie
