Monday, December 19, 2011

Jewels



The day............ Julie stepped off this earth into eternity...............I was running around crazy getting ready for a Christmas program at church. Funny how the pain of life can sometimes stop you right in your tracks.

And what is growing without hurting?

What is pain without grieving?

It was the morning when I didn't want to wake to pray that husband said the words I never wanted to hear. One of your high-school friends was killed yesterday.
But I hadn't known because the world that is spinning has been spinning me a bit disoriented lately.

I look at him as the tears swell and tell him; " I don't know how to pray anymore."
And this thing called growing in HIM doesn't shield you from that.
Sometimes I want to step off.........run away to somewhere far......far......away....where death is no longer and good people don't have to die.
I put my feet on the ground not knowing what to do............I walk to the kitchen...........there is trash over-flowing.........dishes piled in the sink, laundry on the floor.
One of the teens slam the front door as she is leaving and it is me who is seeing the filth of my sins. Who am I? I scream.............me a wretched woman with unclean lips who has had a story book life. But not Julie...............she has never had a story book life!
 It is then that I wonder why on Earth I allow the things that annoy me to sacrifice my own happiness?

I think about Julie finally being whole again..............dancing with her Savior. It is now that I realize how I wish I would have lived my life so different. Not wanting to lose any more moments that matter.
Not wanting to continue to RUSH around my day not even noticing that things that truly matter.
If Julie could speak to us now I have a feeling she would say to us all;  "don't miss it......don't miss the mundane things in the everyday life that God gives us. Stop, smell, and notice the gifts that God gives us everyday.........the sun rising in the morning glistening through the trees..........the leaves falling in the winter............the flowers blooming in the Spring!" She would want us to WAKE up to the blessings in our lives.....and to thank God for them in the moment in this now. Don't waste another moment in this life letting the things of this world still our joy.

John 10:10

10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

My heart breaks for a friend who words of wisdom were so easily at my finger tips but now are gone...........and it us the living that will continue on in a world that continues to spin and people continue to hurt.............but where we can still have HOPE. So when the grief of this world gets to us I feel like I know what Julie would say............."breath and say His name Immanuel because you are never alone so you never have to be afraid!"  




Matthew 1:23

23 “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel”[a] (which means “God with us”).



There will be an ache..........a haunting remembrance of a girl who stood by her faith who gave us all direction by her wisdom. Rest easy my friend you are seeing His face just a little ahead of the rest of us.
She has stepped out of our dark world into the Light............to a God in heaven who loves.
 He LOVED the world so much He GAVE................his only SON for us.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.(John 3:16)
;weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. (Psalm 30:5)


all of grace,
Robbie

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Prayer Room

Prayer Room at the Cove



The only thing that keeps me from prayer is me. It's Wednesday and Monday almost destroyed me. I left the house Monday at 6am.  I didn't come home until 930pm. I feel no joy today with the everything being completely drained from me. Sometimes I wonder;  "is this it Lord?"

I want to stop and pray but I CAN'T!
I rolled over this morning and pretended I was too tired.
I have told Him before that I live in Babylon...........................and he gently whispers again; " so did Daniel."
So how did he do it stop three times to pray?

There is always one more crumb to wipe up........ and the piles of laundry that continue to grow and I can't help myself I don't know how to slow down and just breath.
And all the while it is my soul that is starving.
I am too busy with self!


The sun is shining through the coldness this morning and it's only my "excuses," that keep from the King.
 It is me who claims to want to know Him............so why is it that I consider me and my agenda more important?
He commands that we grow to a stillness............and know that He is God!
It's time to ask myself; "Do I really want to know Jesus?"
Remembering the way up is down.......It 's time to bow the low and pour out my heart like dirty water.
It's the inner washing that I need....................to step out of this world into the quietness of Him.
After all doesn't Christ dwell in a house of prayer? (Luke 19:46)

“Now when Daniel… he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before.” -Daniel 6:10

This is transformation! Kneeling three times a day not to ask but to praise. This is where we find refuge away from a lost World that is spinning.

IT'S A CHOICE!!! You and I can choose to STOP, to kneel and pray. It a choice to stop letting LIFE rule us. PRAYER takes our eyes off of us and puts our eyes on the one true thing that matters....."Christ!"
To live in this moment is a choice............Want you make it boldly with me today?
I am choosing to stop and sing praises to the King.



all of grace,
Robbie



Praising Him for all things big and small:

-the Christmas tree that looks like it belongs at South Park Mall
date night with hubby
Lights of Festival at my church
teens giggling into the wee hours of the morning
the laundry that is over-flowing
bare trees
cold crisp mornings
stillness in the darkness
seeing through His eyes
the longing for simplicity
the gift of eternity








Saturday, December 10, 2011

Weekends are for pouring your heart out

I open the washing machine door to a clank, clank..........it is a quarter.......then I see a empty candy wrapper, three balloons. I gather all that has come out in the wash!


It's steady rhythm going around and around...............washing away the dirt of life.





May your weekend be one of asking.........to be washed in His blood.


Pour out your heart this weekend like dirty water.


all of grace,
Robbie



Friday, December 9, 2011

Love

Today I have loved...........complete strangers!
I am open now.........to the heaviness......of life. 
I am infested...........with a cult of self! But wanting to be more; "Christ Like!"
My own thoughts exploding with possibilities.......of yearning to make a difference in the world.


The weight of it all pushes me down............and it's He that whispers......."I have entrusted you with much." So much will be demanded.

I seriously think about surrender.........but I am not sure if it is possible.
MOVE on I hear him whisper.............move forward.
It's in the early dawn I just want to lay back down and pull the covers over my head. Visions dance of a large white sheet flapping in the wind...............with me screaming.........."I give up............I surrender!"
 At the end of a long two days at work I am forever changed.

She's 24................and she has two kids............3 and 5. They thought she had a vertigo issue so they gave her medicine. But instead it's a tumor the kind with fingers............growing into her brain stem.

I nuzzled my face into her neck. The surgery is today and she could die.
I kiss her forehead and rub her back. I tell her of a Jesus who saves..............and she begs me not to leave her.
Her speech is garbled and it's hard to understand................the tumor is pushing hard on the brain stem.
Her mouth starts to droop mimicking a stroke victim all the while the pain is starting to spiral out of control.
Just when I think it couldn't get any worse she goes blind and now her world is black. She can't see any of us anymore and it is then that she looses it.
Jesus I whisper......help her. I murmur prayer over her and nothing really comes so we all just cry.
Why me? I scream.  But I do it anyway because; God is Love and Love is God!
We are filled so we can spill out................His love! Does it hurt this bad because we love? Is this seeing people through His eyes? The scales are starting to fall from my very own eyes. I am scared and unsure if I truly want to see.

I have been blessed in so many ways.............and it is at this moment I have been chosen to endure the pain...............the pain of feeling love for a complete stranger and feeling scared for her as if she was my own child.
Some days my vision is blurred from other's pain.............and it is then that I forget to find the gratitude in everything..... that every moment is from Him......if only I could see...... (maybe it's me who is choosing not to see.)

Tomorrow or next week I will forget...........someone else will come through that hospital hurting, maybe dying. I will struggle to find the right words to encourage.
The hospital can be a place where somehow the trauma of people's past come back to haunt them.....but I tell them to fight to hold on to the goodness of God.  God is here in this mess.......and He knows pain and suffering! He did it for us.

Life can be messy at times and for some reason through it all Jesus is there. Showing His goodness in our trials of life. If we would just look up keeping our eyes on Him through it all.


He who lived only to die!
Could I ? Could you? Live only to die to self? To spill out His LOVE?
He died for you and for me? Can we not spend a little of ourselves on others this Holiday season?
The more you stretch..........yourself for others.........for complete strangers is where you will see His face!
all of grace,
Robbie







 

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Extreme Humility



Philippians 2 5-11
" Your attitude should be the same as that of Jesus Christ. Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing,taking the very nature of a servant, being made in  human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus Christ every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

As I rush - As I roll into my workplace on two wheels- to punch in - to swipe my badge. I look again at the time I punched in. 0650- late again. What is that showing my co-workers? I love to sleep and that extra 15 minutes feels so good- but so does sin for a time.
I was so blessed by God- for him to use me as a critical care nurse. Do you know how many lives I touch a day- or could touch a day? Rolling in on two wheels is not what God expects from me.
He expects me to apply the example of Jesus Christ's servant hood at work.


I am in management in the 20 bed CCU where I work. I rush in - either right on time- or late. I may not say " hello" to all the staff each day. I spend extra time with the ones that " interest me". I'm trying to be honest! I may see some struggle with their work assignments- sometimes I help- sometimes I don't. Is this why God put me here? No - he didn't- He put me here to be an example to others of Christ's love for  us.
Our Job here on earth- which is not our home- is to show the love of Jesus to others. To make a difference. To show humility and compassion. To show the Love - the Love that Jesus so freely shows to us.

Philippians 2: 1-4
" If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing our of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also the interest of others."

Show alittle joy today- let others see what Jesus is all about. Not a grumpy, miserable, and unhappy person. If nothing else- show joy for having a job- show joy for our salvation.
God is good-
Show Humility today-
Live up to what we have already attained- external life with Jesus!!!!!!!!!!
Rejoice always- even at work!
Show the love of Christ today.
Amy




Monday, December 5, 2011

"Love thy neighbor as yourself."





So our theme of our teen bible study is to; "save a life." Most of my bible study girls are seniors and will be graduating from high- school this spring. They will be going out into the real world. It weighs heavy on my heart that this; "next generation,"..........get that they can make a difference. One girl did; because she was simply OPEN........... to God's will in her life.

So this Christmas instead of buying gifts for my girls I am buying gifts that change the world one person at a time!

When you buy one of these necklaces or books it feeds hungry children in Uganda!
The necklaces also employ a hard-working woman in Uganda. Keeping her from turning to prostitution, or digging through the trash or turning to alcohol to comfort the hunger pains.

"I have seen the Vision and for self I cannot live;
Life is less than worthless till my all I give."
Oswald J. Smith

We've a story to tell to the Nations;

We've a story to tell to the nations,
That shall turn their hearts to the right,
A story of truth and mercy,
A story of peace and light,
A story of peace and light.

Chorus:
For the darkness shall turn to dawning,
And the dawning to noonday bright,
And Christ's great kingdom shall come on earth,
The kingdom of love and light.

We've a song to be sung to the nations,
That shall lift their hearts to the Lord,
A song that shall conquer evil,
And shatter the spear and sword,
and shatter the spear and sword.

We've a message to give to the nations,
That the Lord who reigneth above
Hath sent us His Son to save us,
And show us that God is love,
And show us that God is love.

We've a Savior to show to the nations,
Who the path of sorrow hath trod,
That all of the world's great peoples
May come to the truth of God,
May come to the truth of God.

Chorus:
For the darkness shall turn to dawning,
And the dawning to noonday bright,
And Christ's great kingdom shall come on earth,
The Kingdom of love and light.

How will we ever learn our destiny when we have so little identification with God's destiny for other nations?

God has given us plenty in this world to eat...............we are the distributors.............there is nothing wrong with the Creator................it is us the distributors that is the problem.
Our hearts bleed for the hungry but we do the nothing. We whine, about our lives and how we don't know our purpose in life. But it is all in the bible........"to love your neighbor as yourself," as Kisses from Katie said; "I don't want to be hungry.......so I don't want my neighbor to be hungry!"
We are blind and cannot see.........or maybe we chose to ignore the hungry in this world.
Are we praying only, "self absorbed prayers?" We have been chosen for such a time as this! .......what we do here will change our destiny!
Try praying:
"Lord, how do you want my life to fit into your plan for my times?" ( One girl did pray this and it is changing the world!)

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Jesus Christ (Matthew 6:21)

100 percent of absolutely everything in our lives belongs to God!
Every believer is called to "full-time ministry.

"Though your riches increase, do not set your heart on them."
Psalm 62:10

Matthew 25:35-36;

35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’


When we stand face to face to the King what is it that He will say? Will He say; "well done, my good and faithful servants?"

The one thing I know for certain when we stand before our almighty, holy and amazing Lord, we will be totally aware of the fact that our self-efforts were nothing but filthy rags.
(Isaiah 64:6)

Take some time today and pray.........picture yourself standing before our King. God sees our hearts!
God's number one focus is LOVE! He is compassion.

To be like Christ requires us to see suffering, hunger, pain.
God loves the world! The world- shaped life is the cross shaped life!



We can't change the whole world at once but we can change the world one person at a time!
Join me.....will you?
All profits from Amazima's jewelry sales support the feeding of 1,600 starving children.


When you purchase a gift this season...............think of a gift that will keep on giving!
Think about a gift that would help create jobs,  or feed the hungry!


Think about it..............."What does Jesus really want for His birthday?" Do we or our own children really need more things?
www.amazima.org




all of grace,
Robbie

Friday, December 2, 2011

Advent

Laying on the word of God!!!!

     Waiting is not something that comes easy. Did you know that a Christian's life is supposed to be filled with waiting? In a world that is spinning out of control I sit in the dark this morning and I try it.....I wait!  I am longing to know Him more this season. I am wanting to teach the girls the fullness of the value and meaning of the mystery of Christmas!


It starts in the wee hours of the darkness.................that longing...........that nudge to "come away with me."  So I struggle...........but I step out of the warmness of the sheets into the cold dark floors and grab my bible and a pen. It's my heart that I want changed. "A transformation!"


It's today that I think about Mary and the struggles she had. She had to ride that donkey for days with a swollen belly that was carrying the KING OF KINGS! She recognized His presence in her. She BELIEVED!


We live in a world pregnant with HOPE!  Our waiting is not passive but a active waiting.
ADVENT = "the coming."
We celebrate the coming of the Christ child and what God has already done. But we live life waiting for His return. With the eyes of our hearts seeing, learning, and praying.
I  wonder is it dangerous to always live in comfort?
Jesus knew suffering and pain.
I reach out to those who are lying in a hospital bed dying............and I think; "Christmas is coming and people everywhere...............God's people will know suffering and pain."
Longing to know Him is not enough this season..................He is asking each of us to stretch ourselves a little more. Having a heart transplant is painful...........it takes time to heal.  But the great Physician is working overtime................souls are at stake.

This season................. I am learning even when life doesn't make sense I am going to trust HIM!

 As I walk through the hospital and life seems so unfair with people dying alone...............children losing their parents.........parents losing a child and I realize it is because we live in a broken world.

 I ask myself why did he allow himself to die like that for all of us?  The answer is simple; because of  LOVE the one word that most of us can never truly comprehend. Our God who put on skin who was born and died all for us. Who chose to taste the pain of death and all it's ugliness. Just for us.
Beauty, love and pain surround us all this season.....all of them from Him. And through it all it's me that longs for those quite moments away from everyone to sit in His presence this season. Begging and pleading for me to die to self. Wanting  a transformation this advent season. Learning to slow the pace and wait.

Maranatha! ("Our Lord, Come!)


all of grace,
Robbie