Tuesday, August 16, 2011

inability to move forward

     I know it's the something when she doesn't call the last few days-we are both working at the hospital today the crowds are large and the patients are sick the stress of it all makes it hard to focus-to hear to breath. I catch up with her before the day begins
She tells me the hard- the hard of her week and I feel it too when the life is heavy down upon us. She tells of what's the next and the how much. I say too much when I say, "slow down" the simplicity of life you are just life living way to fast trying to carry the burden all on your own.

Who am I the woman with unclean words to speak the truth to the friend maybe it's the me who needs to be the lost for words-the silent kind.
Life can be so heavy and then it's my tongue that whips and spins  and out comes the pain.  I beg and I plead it's the thanks that you need-gratitude-the kind that comes from your heart.
Since when did I think my gratitude was so significant?  That I was so thankful?  That I had it all together?

     It's two steps forward and 5 steps backwards when our souls are the heavy trying to find that fullness from the joy instead of the dragging my baggage around feeling like an elephant is sitting on my chest!
 God tells us in , Matthew 11:29;      Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
     When did I start thinking that I am the fixer of others problems?  God doesn't need any human help! He is the one is who is gently pushing us to be totally reliant of Him-if we want rest for our souls.
      Looking back over my notes from church this Sunday..our pastor talked about God putting us in certain situations and how sometimes we won't see God do anything for our situation until we MOVE forward.
     Just like the Israelites, God put the Israelites in what seemed like a trap! It was a scary situation. They were backed into a corner with the sea on one side and the sound of the chariots (that were carrying the Egyptian soldiers) coming at them. They thought there was no escape!  How quickly they had gone from feeling bold after they had just destroyed everything of the Egyptians and taking all their riches. Then in a blink of an eye their boldness turned to FEAR!
How quickly do we go from boldness to fear?
God told Moses: "tell the people to stop praying and MOVE FORWARD." Sometimes God is not going to part the red sea until we start MOVING!!!!
God has forgiven our sins but how often are we caught looking back instead of forward?
There will be no rest for our souls in this life if we keep looking back.
Sometimes we need to stop standing and start moving!!!
trying to move forward
all of grace,

Thankful for:
handwritten notes
family dinners
the sound of water
long walks
a husband who prays
hardwood floors that are scratched from the real life that is living on them
a friend that forgives
sea shells

(a quiet repost while Amy, and I are working today; and Jennifer worked all night. Thank you for your grace.)