I pray for help everyday. I pray for peace and a calm spirit, but instead I just scream. My son told me yesterday that, as I screamed out the door at my 10 year old- no shoes- outside 40 degrees and raining, I sounded crazy. And you know what- I did. How can I be that Proverbs 31 women? Often I have considered to just surrender- to hang a white flag on my mailbox- To admit that I give up. The world won. I'm done. Surrender yes, but not to the world, but to God. So as always, I beg God to give me strength, to make me strong and ultimately to just keep my mouth shut and smile. Today started as any other day- woke up late- pushed snooze twice- jumped up- calmly singing to my three boys- wake up now we are late for school. I rush downstairs to let the dog out. It is pouring outside, so I cant wait to let him out- only to have him covered in mud. I feed the fish and the 19 year old cat. I should be proud to have an animal that long, but I think she is so old out of spite, not that we take her to the vet. She hasn't been in 10 years and she only went then, cause my husband- the pilot- ran over her. But guess what - not a scratch on her.- The boys finally were downstairs. I threw a few things in their lunchbox and said, " Lets GO, now. " I had just cleaned off the dog's paws and agreed that he could ride with us to school. Well the leash was left outside and was soaked, so the boys opened the garage and Dodger, the dog, ran out. So just picture this- my three boys running, in the pouring rain, after Dodger. He is a 5 month old golden retriever puppy without a leash. It wasn't a pretty site. I'm running after all of them, of course- screaming. Well Dodger did stop running for a minute- just to poop in the neighbors nice green grass. All I could think was- God I know this is not that big of a deal, but I dying here. I finally got everyone in the car, including the dog. I picked up the poop from the neighbor's yard. And as I used a plastic bag to pick up the prize, there was a hole in the bag and needless to say- I stuck my hand right in it. Just imagine the thoughts going through my head. I know we are suppose to rejoice in the Lord always, but I was having a hard time- just to survive this experience. I guess our father has a sense of humor and was laughing at me this morning. We all need to lighten up a little and enjoy life- even when it is messy and out of control. One day I will be begging for the chaos.