Tuesday, May 24, 2011

god is love..........

 God is love..................




Giving thanks today...............for in the midst of all His ascended glory.....the Lord Jesus comes to speak to such an insignificant disciple...............simply saying........."Do Not Be Afraid." (Revelation 1:17)
His tenderness is inexpressibly sweet!





Me the one who craves the easy....... comes in begging for the more............ more grace please...me with my me-ism.........am I hearing? hearing Him speak? Or am I to wrapped up in the me?


The patients wife who holds the hand high..........the praise.......the seeing of one who hears..........
     The long skirt gave it away........the no make-up.... the simplicity of life.........the one who is ONE with the father.
She looks the tired from the living in a hospital room..........the husband who is on the breathing machine for a muscle disease.........can't protect the airway for the breathing..........


Her eyes were the lovely the kind that had lived the life.......with the stories to reveal...............
A greeting that started with the:  " let me ask you a question?"  Something about the will of God.......I continued to gaze upon her as I starred deep into her eyes to search for an answer that she would want to hear.
Me with my me-ism..... it is oh so clear to me now that I am to resolve..............resolve from my own evil heartaches and be with the people who are the most vulnerable................to be where there is the something.............the something tragically broken that is not of me.
To feel someones else's pain.
I need to exist........................exist out of my own..............me-ism world.
Maybe its the me who really does need the fixing...................the fixing of self...................the self that I cannot forgive..........................and a past that I cannot forget.
There is the something that happens...........when walking into another's life...........and listening...........really listening to their story.

     The Dr. walks in and tells the wife the one with her hand held high................its a choice that's coming.
It has to do with surgery....the kind which they cut for a trachea (which is an opening in the neck so they could move the breathing tube from the patients mouth to give him more comfort and it is used for patients who are going to be on a breathing machine long term); the Dr also stated that the patient would need a PEG tube! ( PEG is a surgery where they place a tube directly into the abdomen to feed the person)
The whole time the Dr. was speaking to the wife, I kept the looking at the wife deep....trying to see if I could see a response..........as I searched inwardly for my own answer.
The wife looked back at the Dr. with grace and poise.....she smiled a faint kind of smile and humbly thanked the Dr. for his time.
After he left the room I stood their with the no words.
Trying the hard to exist out of my own.................feeling the nothing..............watching this women who drew me in by her simple child like faith!
I quietly asked her if she had any questions? She raised that short little hand up to praise the Father..... the one she had become ONE with.....the one where the father had seen the something different.........a different kind of spirit.
She exclaimed by FAITH we are going to say NO..... to the cutting....and claim that it would not happen.

After all isn't Heaven the happily ever after?
Don't we all have darkness to walk through? With our own battles to fight?
She had faith! She believed....
As the days quickly turned to two......we had the bond!!! I to saw a different spirit in the her....
I even had the Amy come and meet her.....we sat at her feet looking and listening to her story.
She told us that years ago in a different kind of life.............she was the praying and felt the Lord speak directly into her soul.............he told her that she would never DIE! Never ever experience death! And she looked at the Amy and I and said, "girls I am 69 years old!"
"He's coming back and He's coming soon!"
Amy and I had the chill all over....the different spirit we could feel......felt like we sat down with Jesus himself.

She cried the long and hard when I told her I wouldn't be back for a week!
But on Sunday night my phone rang! I didn't recognize the number and didn't answer.  As I was listening to my message my heart skipped a beat as I heard the wife with the different kind of spirit say; "Robbie, please call me as soon as you can." I called the Amy,  me with my little faith knowing that they are wanting to do the surgery and thinking that she must be so upset. What am I supposed to say? After-all she had prayed and believed God!
I dialed the number back with the expecting.....expecting to hear the worst....she picked up the phone and I could barely understand because she was the shouting.......shouting HOLY, HOLY IS THE LORD.....he gave us a miracle today at 11:08am.......husband was taken off the breathing machine and was doing the great! I couldn't get a word in..........no surgery!!!! Here she screams you have to hear him speak!!!! You have never heard him speak!!! I know that God sent you to us...........you must HEAR his voice!!!
Husband on the phone..........."God gave me a miracle today!"
The tears that stung my face..........the humbleness that I felt.................the still small voice I could hear in my own heart...
Numbers 24:15-17:
the prophecy of one whose eye sees clearly,

 the prophecy of one who hears the words of God,
who has knowledge from the Most High,
who sees a vision from the Almighty,
who falls prostrate, and whose eyes are opened

I want so badly to have a different spirit..............like Caleb and like my new friend.........I want so badly for my eyes to be opened. Have I heard Him? Have I really ever listened? Listened to His still small voice? I must really listen and hear him speak! God is saying, "Here I am, over here, do you recognize My voice?"
"Have you ever heard Me speak?"  "You must HEAR my voice!"

all of grace,
Robbie