Monday, December 19, 2011


The day............ Julie stepped off this earth into eternity...............I was running around crazy getting ready for a Christmas program at church. Funny how the pain of life can sometimes stop you right in your tracks.

And what is growing without hurting?

What is pain without grieving?

It was the morning when I didn't want to wake to pray that husband said the words I never wanted to hear. One of your high-school friends was killed yesterday.
But I hadn't known because the world that is spinning has been spinning me a bit disoriented lately.

I look at him as the tears swell and tell him; " I don't know how to pray anymore."
And this thing called growing in HIM doesn't shield you from that.
Sometimes I want to step away to somewhere far......far......away....where death is no longer and good people don't have to die.
I put my feet on the ground not knowing what to do............I walk to the kitchen...........there is trash over-flowing.........dishes piled in the sink, laundry on the floor.
One of the teens slam the front door as she is leaving and it is me who is seeing the filth of my sins. Who am I? I a wretched woman with unclean lips who has had a story book life. But not Julie...............she has never had a story book life!
 It is then that I wonder why on Earth I allow the things that annoy me to sacrifice my own happiness?

I think about Julie finally being whole again..............dancing with her Savior. It is now that I realize how I wish I would have lived my life so different. Not wanting to lose any more moments that matter.
Not wanting to continue to RUSH around my day not even noticing that things that truly matter.
If Julie could speak to us now I have a feeling she would say to us all;  "don't miss it......don't miss the mundane things in the everyday life that God gives us. Stop, smell, and notice the gifts that God gives us everyday.........the sun rising in the morning glistening through the trees..........the leaves falling in the winter............the flowers blooming in the Spring!" She would want us to WAKE up to the blessings in our lives.....and to thank God for them in the moment in this now. Don't waste another moment in this life letting the things of this world still our joy.

John 10:10

10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

My heart breaks for a friend who words of wisdom were so easily at my finger tips but now are gone...........and it us the living that will continue on in a world that continues to spin and people continue to hurt.............but where we can still have HOPE. So when the grief of this world gets to us I feel like I know what Julie would say............."breath and say His name Immanuel because you are never alone so you never have to be afraid!"  

Matthew 1:23

23 “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel”[a] (which means “God with us”).

There will be an ache..........a haunting remembrance of a girl who stood by her faith who gave us all direction by her wisdom. Rest easy my friend you are seeing His face just a little ahead of the rest of us.
She has stepped out of our dark world into the a God in heaven who loves.
 He LOVED the world so much He GAVE................his only SON for us.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.(John 3:16)
;weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. (Psalm 30:5)

all of grace,