Spirit of Heaviness...................

Have you ever felt like your spirit is overwhelmed? The challenges to great? The burdens so heavy? The attacks so fierce?

That is how I have felt this week. I have cried so much this week that I feel like I have tear stains on my face. I am confused and discouraged! Life is simply just not fair!!! Sometimes life can be so hard on us. To be honest, I haven't even felt like praying. I FEEL like Satan has asked to sift me as wheat.

Think about how much we love our kids with all our hearts and when they hurt, their pain becomes our pain. As a mother of three girls, ages 15, 13, and 10. There is always drama; their tears are my tears!
God is our heavenly father, and he so identifies with us his children (he became human and experienced everything that we do) our tears are his tears! God not only LOVES us; He identifies with us!
When we hit a bump in the road in this life with things that make us question God with the; If only God would;---- if only He had---------; If only He had answered my prayers the way I asked him to.---
Sometimes when God is silent in your life is when He is doing His best work. Maybe the adversity in our life is being used to make us strong! We have to learn to endure!!! We have to endure in this life to the point that we choose to praise Him, regardless of the storms within us or around us. If you look in your bibles David understood the secret to victory over adversity by choosing to PRAISE God! Jeremiah knew as did Paul and many others. We must CHOOSE to praise Him! If you don't remember anything about this post remember this: "Learn to walk by faith, not by what your FEELING!!! We have to make a choice! A conscious choice, no matter how bad your world comes crashing down to PRAISE Him!!! Rejoice!! Happiness is circumstantial. Joy cometh from the Lord!!! This is your gold nugget for today. PRAISE HIM!! This is the secret of victory that Paul, King David, and Jeremiah knew: PRAISE Him! Praise is the switch that turns on your light of joy in our lives even when our world is falling apart. Praise keeps Satan from having a foot hole in your life. Here is the meat of this message: When your world is falling apart and you Praise Him even in your darkest moments, the results of Praising Him will cause others to see the Glory of God in our lives!! Amen!

Look at the verse in John 11: 35; Jesus wept.. Jesus often expressed deep emotion, which shows me to never be afraid to reveal my true feelings to him. He understands! Praise God!
Jesus the Creator of the universe, the I AM, had real tears running down his face over Lazarus's death. Even though he knew he was going to raise him from the dead He still wept! Why? Because He loved them (Mary, Martha, and Lazarus) and their tears of grief were on his face! And he loves us and our tears of grief are on his face. If you ever had to bury a loved one; or hear the diagnosis of cancer from a doctor; or lost your job; experienced the pain of spouse betrayal, discovered your daughter has lost her innocence. Our TEARS are on His face!!!!
If you ever think that Jesus just doesn't care what your going through, and He doesn't love you because if He did He wouldn't have let you go through this. Those thoughts are from Satan himself. Those are the thoughts the enemy puts in your head and if your not careful those thoughts will take root in your head and those thoughts will choke out the truth; which the truth is God Loves you, your grief is His, your shock is His, your pain is His.

I cry out to you Abba Father! Thank you so much for being a father with emotions. You have so much compassion on your people. Our sorrows are your sorrows. You have experienced them. Our tears are on your face. Thank you , Jesus.

Tears of relief,
Robbie

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding....In ALL of your ways, acknowledge Him and He WILL direct your paths."

Whatever it is you need to trust Him with, Trust Him with it. He WILL direct you...Do not rely on your own answers to the situation around you. God wants to direct your paths. Let Him.

I read Robbie's post and it reminded me of the fragrance that comes from myrrh. I think I have shared this in a previous post but I wanted to remind us what I had read about it. Myrrh is not pretty to look at. It is not even a good smelling bush when you walk by it...BUT if you take it and crush it, it lets off the most beautiful smell. If you take it and grind it up, crush it down to nothing, then the fragrance that comes off of it is breathtaking.
Let's be crushed down today and let our beautiful fragrance flow from us. Let's allow God to come and grind us down, tear us apart, rub us between His fingers and then see what we can smell like.
Ladies, we need to get to a place of worship with the Father. Read the previous post. Really study what it says. Let's get back to the Heart of Worship with the Father in the next few weeks. Let's reunite that closeness that may have died off, that we may have lost over the past year or the past months. Let's fall inlove with the Father and truly experience His greatness and closeness and His love and His mercy. If you don't feel like it, do it anyway. Turn on praise music and see what happens as you clean the house today. Get into a routine of worship as you work, as you drive. Spend some time with God.
He will let off a fragrance in you that makes others draw close to you and wonder what it is that smells so good. Isn't that what we are here for? To shine for Him?
Let's do that.
I love you girls.

Jennifer

Pray that God makes a way where there seems to be no way. Pray that God lets you see the top of the mountain that you've been climbing and then lets you look over and see the beauty of what you've traveled up from.
There is a peace in God that surpasses all understanding. There is an answer in the Almighty One that wipes out all questions.
Rest in Him.
Rest in His control over your life.
Rest.

I watched a man dying of cancer last night. He struggled to breath. All alone in a strange hospital room. And all he wanted to do was get up and go home. All he wanted was to be at home in his own comfortable environment with his familiar surroundings so that he could spend the last few days and minutes where he was comfortable. Yet, we struggled to put him and keep him in a bed in a cold, dark hospital room. I sat at the side of his bed and held his hand and watched him for what seemed like an eternity and asked, "Why? Why does he have to go like this?" What a way to spend your last few minutes of time on this earth. He was scared, alone, and all he had was us in those moments. All I could do was whisper, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus". Over and over I whispered, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus". It was the only thing that brought peace into such a confusing, hurting, struggling, and angry environment.
We don't always understand why things occur as they do. We don't always like to watch people go the way that they go, but we have to remember that our ways, our thoughts, our ideas are not like God's. There is a reason and a season for everything, and we just have to trust that He has it all in control.
Sometimes we want to feel good. We want to be happy. We want things to work the way that WE want them to work.
And, sometimes God wants them to work the way He has planned for them to work, and He plants us in those places, in that place of uncomfortableness so that He can use us in those last moments, and we have to take our eyes off of the situation, off of what would make it more "ideal" for us at the time, and off of the chaos that is around us, and see how we can continue to show that love of Christ even to the very end to a dying person, who is taking some of his last breaths on this earth.
He said at one point that "it shouldn't be like this", and all I could respond to that was, "No, it shouldn't".
I don't have an answer to the "why", the one question that seems to be asked more than the others. But I do know how to love. I do know how to hold a dying man's hand and whisper the most precious name of all. I have been equipped by God to bring peace to an unpeaceful situation.
We don't always have to go the extreme to be used by God. Sometimes it is the simple action of speaking the most beautiful name on earth that brings a chaotic room to complete peace.
God is circling the Yahweh Sisters with looking beyond ourselves, looking past to the depths of comfort and likeness. He is showing each of us, with totally different situations, how to love and how to share His love with others. Because we can have the Lord in our hearts, but are we reflecting His love? It's not the good, sweet, Christian people that need to feel and see His love. But the dying, hurting, poor and needy ones that need to see His love and know He is there with them in those last few minutes.
I know that God is my God. I know that when I die, I will meet the Father and rejoice with the angels in heaven. I know that I will stand with the Father one day, but as I sat there last night and looked into the eyes of someone that was about to experience this personally, I thought, "wow, we will be in two different environments, but right now we are together and if I am the last face that he sees I pray that he sees God and feels His love before he stands before him and truly gets to see God and know His love."
Lord, help me with my actions, with my words, with my attitude that rises up so often in stressful situations. Help me to not get caught up in the chaotic, stressful environment, and forget why I am placed in every situation of my life. I want to be your hands, your feet, your eyes, your voice. I want to truly be able to be a glimpse of You on earth.
See, you don't know me, but I can be a very hard and abrupt person, and for years I have prayed for God to soften me and make me one of those kind, compassionate, sweet spirited Christians. I have to die to the fleshly personality of wanting to rise up and control situations A LOT. I struggle in this area. And, just as we all do, I find myself doing so good, and then I start to slip back into that hardness little by little until one day I am in the full blown, down right mean person again. We have to be careful. The devil will stick his pinky toe in the door and if we are not careful, he will have it kicked wide open and will be prancing right on in the room and find himself a recliner to sit in and kick his feet up, making himself right at home. Let's slam the door shut on his toe before this happens. Get accountability partners in whatever area that you need them in. We have to stay righteous in this unrighteous world.
Find at least one person this week to go above and beyond for and show the love of Christ to them. Look for the one that noone else wants to reach. Look for the person at the grocery store or at the mall that looks like they need "something" at that moment. Ask God to show you that person and to show you how to be used. You never know what impact you may have on an individuals life. Let's love like He loves.
God bless you this week
I am praying for God to open doors for us all to walk through that are uncomfortable and a bit challenging.
(hey, my mother-in-law is coming into town so I know the door that I have to walk through already) (JUST KIDDING...I love my mother-in-law).

Share His love
Be His hand
Be His light
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus....There's just something about that name.

Loving,
Jennifer

No other Gods.................

Exodus 20:3; You shall have no other gods before or besides me......... As I took care of this precious patient this weekend, I was blown away by this flashing green, red and yellow light in her room. The family had placed it there above her head. I was told not to get in between it and the patient. As I approached the device it would chant without stopping. I was so amazed. This was their god!!! Can you imagine? On the device was a half naked elephant. Come to find out this was the highest of their gods.

I ended up at first just staring at it not knowing what to do in a room that had idols set up. There were statues in different parts of her room and even gifts laid at one of the statues feet. The more I moved about the room I was totally like "Ok God, how is it that you could use me in this situation?" I knew I was totally out of my element. For those of you who do not know... Jen, Amy and I are all critical care nurses. I recently left our unit where we had all worked together on nights for over 5 years. I am now a part of a resource team and only go to Critical Care Units in different areas : Trauma, Neuro, Surgical, Medical or Cardiac. Sometimes the job can be very exhausting. You never know what you are going to walk into. It can break your heart and suck the life right out of you and leave you feeling that you have nothing else to give. I praise God that I work part time and I am able to stay home with my girls. I try to work 2 days a week, which are 12 hour shifts. I leave my house at 6am and return home around 8pm at night. Very long, exhausting days with very sick patients. But the reason I am telling you this is because Amy, Jen and I all feel that this job we do with the sick and dying are a part of our ministry. We feel with all our hearts that God has placed us with the sickest patients and the dying for a reason. We are sometimes the only light in the dark and have endured suffering at times for where we stood with God. But before I go to work every week I get up at 4:30 and I pray: "Father let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. I yield my life to you. Use me today Father. Give me the patients that you want me to have. Let me be your vessel today. Whatever happens Father I trust you."
Then the flesh kicks in and I have doubt as I drive into this level one trauma center not knowing what God has in store for me. Where is my trust?
So Saturday when I arrived and there was a very sick patient with her god running off of electricity, I was like "Oh my God, How? How are you going to use me? I can't do this."
I didn't know whether to be mad or sad. At first I could even feel my flesh rising up in me and saying things like, "You're kidding. You have to plug your god in! MY God is plugged into me all of the time, and He doesn't need electricity. He invented the electricity for goodness sakes!!"
But thank God that I have the Holy Spirit that takes over. I went in and with an open mind, I began to have the desire to want God to use me in whatever way He wanted to. It began to rise up in me just as I had prayed earlier.
I took care of this patient and ended up being so blessed. I fell so in love with her family (which was extremely large). I hugged and met each and everyone of them. They were the most gracious and kind family that I have ever met. I would look at them and feel such love for them, Unexplainable Love. I can't even put it into words what I felt for them.
I would pray for them quietly as I worked in the room and I heard the softest little voice in my heart say to me: "Be the light with how you treat them, how you help them, how you respect them, show them MY LOVE!!! Show them His Love!!!!"
Can I tell you it was so easy!!! I was led by the Holy Spirit!! I embraced them. I showed them the Love of Christ!! The rest is up to God!! Praise Him that I can leave it at His feet. I was obedient and He will do the rest. What a relief to know that my God is so big that He can reach anybody if He chooses!
I wanted to share this with you because it is so easy for us in our little world where we Christians are in a protected little bubble A LOT of the time. We have to break out of our security nets and walk where Jesus wants us to walk. Where the dying and the hungry and the ones who have no idea who OUR God is!!! Step out of your comfort zone. Our God is BIG. Let's be careful not to put Him in a box. Sometimes all He wants for us to do is SHOW THE LOVE OF CHRIST!! He will do the rest. Remember LOVE is the greatest gift of all. LOVE your neighbor as yourself. Love others as you want to be treated.
Those precious people are my neighbors and yours. Stop stepping over the ones who need to know God to get to the ones who are like us.
You and I may never see the seeds that are planted until we stand in glory with God one day. But those seeds will reap a harvest!!! Spread the Love. Love the unloveable and please don't judge. God died for everyone. Make a choice. PUSH that Flesh down!! Push it down. The LORD has our heart. SURRENDER your life to him. He knows what to do with it.

Blessings to you all.

Learning to surrender,

Robbie

Prayer.............

Do I; do you realize what a gift that prayer is? Until Jesus came we didn't have access to God! Through His death the veil separating us from the presence of God was torn in two from top to bottom! God himself opened up the way for us to enter into his presence----through prayer!!

Praise God! Through prayer, we are invited to come into His presence as children come to their father. Jesus' death revealed the love of God for us.

Jesus prayed!!!!

If Jesus found it necessary to maintain a continual, active prayer life, what is your excuse for not praying? What is my excuse? I know that I complain that I don't have enough time. I also use the excuse that I am to tired. etc. What about you? What excuses are you using? If Jesus can pray the night before his execution then none of our excuses mean anything. We cannot get close to God without prayer. It is a gift!!

Do you want to know Him? Do you want to know him just casually like you would an acquaintance? Or do you long to know him like Adam, Enoch, Noah; where they walked with him and talked to him. When he was preparing the disciples for his departure they were devastated. Jesus was their friend. They were going to miss him. I want to know him like they knew him. I want to be OBEDIENT to his call on my life. I want to care more about what God thinks than what others think. I want to be God's friend!! Can you image him looking down from heaven and calling us his friends? We have to make a deliberate decision to seek to know God, and that comes from alone time with him in prayer and reading his word. However you are spending your time and with whom determines your wants and your desires and your dreams. It determines everything.

I know I have said this before that salvation is free but to follow Jesus will cost you everything. God has big plans for you and me. We have a purpose to fulfill for God! Jesus had a purpose to fulfill for God. In order for Jesus to finish God's work, Jesus had to keep the focus and embrace the purpose with a single mind and heart! He had to yield his life to God. (surrender, submit, humility).

If you and I are able to finish God's plan for us then we can't be satisfied with just squeezing by to get to heaven. We have to become single-minded and focused as we embrace God's purpose for our life. We have got to take our eyes off ourselves and put them on God! If not we will miss it. We will miss the most incredible gift of all : KNOWING GOD!!



Trying to put both eyes on the Father,

feeling a little cross-eyed!!

Robbie