Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Humble Pie.....

Wow, as I reflect on my life, I truly want it to please God, my Father. I am so unworthy of His presence that He so amazingly gives to me and to you as his children. I am reflecting lately on what it is I have been created for. It is like I want it to be something so big, and my Father is simply saying THIS is big (and I will explain in a minute what THIS is). If you save one child, if you comfort one person-that is so big. Have you ever wondered what is your purpose here on Earth? It is to be a Servant to the King of Kings, Lord of Lords. SERVANT!!!! Why does this one little word create so much controversy? We are here to serve one another. We don't own anything - your money, your home, your job - it is all God's. Why are we so selfish and want to feed the flesh? Our flesh is so strong. The flesh and the spirit cannot co-habitat with one another. One will bow down to the other. When the bible teaches us to die to the flesh daily it is a CHOICE that we have to make.
So, this is the THIS:
For several years now I have had the opportunity through my church to bring a child from Belarus into my home during the summer. I am able to give this child things she never even knew existed (a warm bath, food 3 times a day, dental and medical visits, and so much more). It has become harder on my family because of the age of the child and the age of my children (a house of 4 girls from ages 9-14 last year can be a little crazy). Besides that, the financial demands for bringing her to the states has been a constant stressor in our minds the past few months. One of the ladies that helps head this ministry up just returned from a visit there, and called to inform me of the situation she was faced with while there. What I thought it was like....it wasn't...not even close. My heart broke today as I heard and saw pictures of how this child, MY child now, lives. And, I had the thought of "I'm not sure how I am going to do it this year. I'm not sure if we can do it this year." As I mentioned before, God sometimes shows us the small things that matter more to Him than the big things do at times. God has already placed this ministry in my heart and I cannot let it go to fulfill bigger ones. I have to believe that God will make a way where there seems no way. My God will provide.
Many days I have found myself wanting to know what would it be like to fall hopelessly in love with God. Today I feel I am one step closer to falling in that direction. Help me Jesus. I want to fall ... Lord I am wanting to find you and know you intimately. I want that Lord...I want it even if this Yahweh ministry never grows to anything more than what it is right now. Lord let it be your will. Let me be your hands and your feet on this Earth to work and do as you need me. Use me Father for your Glory and for your Kingdom. Let your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven in my life Lord.

Praise you father...
Thank you Father for humbling me today and making my path clearer and forgiving me.