how to fight for Joy............

When you are feeling the sad....how do you fight for the joy?
A Christian book store.........the kind that's family owned........the closing down.............the urge to go........me the thinking the last thing I need is another book!
The spirit leads...........and I follow.............I sit a spell and I think......

I want it! I want to be that person the bible is calling me to be! My heart is the aching.... aching for the desire...........the desire of the one true God!
If it is true that we become the very thing we desire or love.................What am I? Who am I? What is in my heart?
Do I desire the comfort and the security more than I desire God?
Have I truly really tasted the living waters?

     I read a line out loud of (John Piper's book; "When I don't desire God,"; How to Fight for Joy)
"How we pray reveals the desires of our hearts. And the desires of our hearts reveal what our treasure is. And if our treasure is not Christ, we will perish.

How do we pray?
When all alone in the stillness of the dark....how do we pray? What is the treasure of our heart?

Then I read aloud the words............the words of Jesus:
Psalm 90:14;
 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
Psalm 51:8;
 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice
Psalm 51:12;
 Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.
Psalm 90:15;
Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil.
Psalm 85:6;
Will you not revive us again, that your people may rejoice in you?

I stand there in awe; we cannot miss this........God knows that we cannot make ourselves satisfied in God......Only God can!
The scripture is speaking......... we are UNABLE.........but God is ABLE.......
God has the right to do it and God is ABLE to do it, and does do it through prayer....

What are we praying for?

And when the author "John Piper," says:  Now there is only one hope, the sovereign grace of God...........God will have to transform our hearts..................to do what a heart cannot make itself do, namely want......, what it ought to want!!!
     Only God can make the depraved heart desire God.

We can pray for the desires of our hearts....we can lay across the floor weeping wanting what we want....but God is looking..........to and fro for a different spirit! 
"You ask and do not receive," James said, "because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions." (Jas. 4:3) 
Anything that we desire should ultimately bring us closer to Him.....Christ is exalted when He is desired above all gifts!
Daniel was able to resolve (living in Babylon) ONLY because he was disciplined in his prayer life! Even when the King issued the decree that no one could pray to any other god but to the king himself or else "death." What did Daniel do?
His disciplined power continued to flow. Even after the decree was signed and in place Daniel went home and got on his knees and gave thanks before the Lord, just as he had before. He didn't pray for things for himself, he gave thanks! He had a different spirit! I want that spirit! Don't you?

Mark 10:27;
 Jesus looked at them and said, "With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God."

all of grace,
Robbie

It's all about the praise.................

Enter his gates with thanksgiving,

and his courts with praise!
Give thanks to him; bless his name!
—Psalm 100:4

Every moment is an opportunity to praise Him......

I yearn for the coming of undone...........undone for Christ!
Holy ground is the everywhere......am I seeing? Seeing the ever-present God everywhere?
Every moment is a gift from God...So why then is it that I am not praising Him?

I walk in to work fast and hard..........trying to get there before I am late....I gently slide in my seat to listen to report from another nurse who is living the tired..........I look at her and smile and humbly speak....Is this an OK assignment? Knowing that I prayed the hard on my way in..........me the one who craves the easy..
After all I am feeling the boldness......I prayed............

How easily we are ensnared by Satan's lies..............the nurse smiled the faint kind of smile and says the words that I dread to hear........."It's not the good!!! It's the sad!"
As she proceeds to tell me one patient is the middle aged kind and has something growing in her lungs the unknown kind........ the sentence has been handed down.........two weeks..........
The color quickly drains out of my face as I go from the bold prayer warrior to the fearful me-ism....."what about me God?" Didn't I pray right? Didn't I pray hard enough? Why would you put me in this danger? I have a family!!!
The nurse tells the faith of the other patient whom is a 21 year old that is the sick of the sicks with unknown reasoning.....it could be a fatal disease as well...of unknown region......
My tongue starts the twitching of fire.........I am becoming overwhelmed......I ask with my head held low, are we treating this as contact precautions just in case?
She shakes her head the no........not the sure of what's taking them over and shutting down the organs but we are exposed...........
FEAR........my fair weathered friend..............welcome back I say....it's a never ending cycle...
Is God trying to kill me?
Exasperated over the report I slide down low in my chair wanting so badly to just disappear...
 It feels like a roller coaster ride..........one minute bold, the next minute fear.........I want off this ride!
     This is what God has assigned me.....after all I prayed!
This world is hard..........and then there is the death.......the dying kind..........must keep remembering.........there is life after death............this world is not the end!
Jesus is the gate.................cheering us on............looking to see a little faith!
God saw a different spirit in Caleb..................that is why he got to enter into the promise land........there was the something different with him........what spirit does God see in the me?
     Caleb knew this was not the end..........that this world was not the end.........that there is the life that still to come......the forever life.....his life was mirroring the eternity! What does my life mirror? You will become the things you love.

Out of our fears the healing comes..........
Out of what seems to turn us back to Egypt is the very thing that builds our trust....
The very thing that tears us down is the beginning of our very own resurrection....

     I stand in the noise of it all and I feel like a stranger to myself........the beeps, the sounds of all the monitors going crazy and I realize TRUST HIM................. even if we are placed in Babylon we must resolve....
 renounce is the only way to grace....... and remembering the one who has placed me here is the God who loves me all the more for the not sparing me..
all of grace,
Robbie

thankful today;
for kids who keep me up way too late
for all my teenagers friends who are always at my house
high-school girls getting ready for prom at my house
the flip-flops on the front porch
the face prints on the shower door
the heart that was drawn on the back of my SUV with dirt
the husband who takes a walk with me
the dog who follows me from room to room
the dog bowls that never have water
clean clothes
a new vacuum
clean sheets
new grace and mercy
a chance to start over

the unanswered questions are the ones we don't always answered

Lately, I have been faced with many different situations at work that make me question...how? why? what were they thinking?  what was going on? what do I say?
I could think of a thousand things that rush through my mind as a nurse sometimes when I am faced with the craziness around me.  I don't always have the right answers or right words to say and I long for them sometimes.
As I cared for a sick woman, struggling with lung cancer, I realized...I can do nothing for her at this point except pray...but the difference in our religion stood between me wanting to reach out.  I don't know why we think that just because someone doesn't believe exactly as we do that we can't reach out.  I did today.  I thought how badly I wanted to share my God's love with her, but wasn't sure how it would be received, if it would be received at all. 
But, as I held her hand I knew in an instant that I have a gift that was worth sharing, no matter how well it was received from the other party. 
I am very respectful of others and their beliefs.  I am not pushy, and in fact, I am sometimes the total opposite.  I hold onto that gift sometimes...maybe so that I have it all for myself?  I don't know.
But, today, I wanted to share.  So, as I held her hand, I asked, "can I pray with you?" and just as I have experienced many times before, she said, "yes". 
So, we prayed for God to come, heal, deliver peace, calm the anxiety that was overtaking her thoughts, and to just be Him. 
You see, God is more than we can imagine.  Just Him being who He is...is more than enough to want to share what it is He is.
God loves the ones that are different.  He sees the future of those that do not call Him Savior yet.  He knows the path that they will take, and He hurts for those who hurt.
Thinking back on all of the reasons that I went into nursing I am reminded over and over that "I am right where God wants me at for this moment".
There was a call the other night of a young man who had been found "down" from a suicidal attempt.  The age of this child overwhelmed me to the point of tears.  These are the situations that I cannot comprehend in my tiny little brain, and I want to run so far from nursing so that I don't have to know the details of what happened.  So many times we hear almost "too much" about circumstances and we build walls to protect the hurt that otherwise would flood in.  But, that night the walls crumbled down and all I could think was that this was someones child, and as a mother, my heart broke.
I don't understand everything that we do sometimes and what it is that keeps us doing it.  The pain that surrounds our job can be overwhelming and hard to swallow.  The questions that we want answered so many times seem to not get answered more than they do get answered. 
But, I cannot worry with the unanswered questions...because frankly, I am not sure if I would want to know all of the answers.
I just have to remind myself that "I am here for a reason".  God made us to bring light into a dark world and we have that opportunity almost everyday that we walk into our workplace.  Robbie, Amy, and myself have been blessed over the years to share in other's pain, hurt, loss, and joy...and we know that it is times like these mentioned that keeps us where we are at.

I pray for God's hand of mercy and love for all of the families and patients that we are able to serve everyday.  Sometimes hurt is not seen from the outward appearance and it takes God's discernment to recognize it.  I pray for God to use us in the situations that are most challenging and that our eyes are open to the surroundings so that we can bring that Light. Lord, thank you for feelings, for the ability to touch and hold a hurting hand, for a future that holds far more than what I can physically see on this earth, for patients that need and for providing me with the ability to give. 

Not all questions are answered, but I am not so sure I need to know all of the answers...I just need to trust that you have them.


Jennifer

trying to get back to the basics in our walk...

     

          As I sit here in our home office, taking in all that surrounds my day, I think back to a conversation that I had earlier in the week with a man that all of us have come to know and respect.  His name is Yodi.  He is not from "around these parts" and his accent makes it hard to catch every word that he speaks, but we often find ourselves hanging onto every word because we know that behind each word there is wisdom to be gained. 
You see, Yodi comes from a place that is not spoiled with the things we find ourselves spoiled with.  Does it make him better than us?  No, but it makes him more appreciative I believe than what I am most of the time.
There was only one point to our 45 minute conversation the other night...getting back to the basics.  I know what drives me...time alone with the Father.  I know what motivates me...time alone with the Father.  I know what keeps me pure and holy and righteous...time alone with the Father.  I know what gives me the trust that I need in my everyday life...time alone with the Father.  And I know what I am missing the most in my life...time alone with the Father.
I can join every bible study, go to every church service, pray and teach my children in the ways that I should, but I need to have my time alone with God.  Praying. Worshiping. Listening. Seeking.
Without these things, I find my life more chaotic, my thoughts more sparatic, my words more cutting and unclean.  Without my drive, I find myself tired and worn out. 
I have to have time with my God, my Father, the King of all Kings, the Alpha and the Omega, the One that Heals, the Provider, Yahweh.  Because in this time, I am restored.  In this time, I am renewed.  In this time, I am disciplined to the point of change.  In this time, I am forgiven.
Let's get to the basics and stop running for the gold medals in life that so many christians want to have hanging around their neck.  Because when we stand before the Father one day, will we know Him?  Recognize Him?  Will we hear a familiar voice? 
Let's "beef" up our time with the Father, soaking in His presence, worshiping Him while we clean the dishes, singing praises to Him, and spending our time praying to Him, letting Him speak to us and cleansing us so that we can make it through our weeks with less confusion and distraction.
Let's get back to the basics in our walk...it's what is really important.
Blessings
Jennifer

weekends.....for the tired

For days I been feeling the tired.................the weariness of the day.

Feeling like a worn out tire...........the kind where the wheels keep the turning and spinning but the going of the nowhere.

Isn't Jesus supposed to be our rest?

Maybe it's the me-ism that hasn't slowed long enough to rest in His presence...

Wishing you all this weekend;  a weekend of rest......resting in Jesus is when we will find rest for our souls.

It is like that  old saying:  "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink."

God can show us that He is the living water......no matter how thirsty we are He can't make us drink...

It is the Free....................the free will that we have........and Jesus has the kind of water where we will never thirst again....

We need rest...............the deep kind....................the kind where Jesus is our only source.

Matthew 11:29;

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.

Jesus in Every Book of the Bible

Matthew 18: 1-5;
1 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”



2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

A Thankful Heart

I slowly dig my way out of the pit of life- sometimes I wonder- if I even want out. Do we like to roll around in the mess we create. Is it ever really that bad. It is not until the quiet of night, that I realize that I often exaggerate- when it comes down to it. What do we love about chaos? What joy do I find in the whirlwind that I create? My dad gave me a book for Mother's Day - Helen Steiner Rice- A collection of blessings- I wanted to share one that touched me.... that made me think!

                                                                   A Thankful Heart
Take nothing for granted, for whenever you do, The joy of enjoying is lessened for you. For we rob our own lives much more than we know when we fail to respond or in any way show- our thanks for the blessings that daily are ours- The warmth of the sun, the fragrance of flowers, The beauty of twilight, the freshness of dawn, The coolness of dew on a green velvet lawn, The kind little deeds so thoughtfully done. The favors of friends -and the love that someone unselfishly gives us in myriad ways. Expecting no payment and no words of praise, Oh, great is our loss when we no longer find a thankful response to things of this kind. For the joy of enjoying and the fullness of living are found in the heart that is filled with thanksgiving.


What am I missing, by always spinning? Am I going to find out one day that I missed it. That I missed it by- rushing through life- by always hurrying- always complaining- .... That nothing is ever good enough.
My prayer today- is that I remain thankful - that I see God's plan in every situation. Not just the good times, but also the bad.
With a Thankful Heart-
Amy