Sacrifices...................

Psalm 51:17; The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.
Have you ever feel stagnant in your faith as if you are just going through the motions? Have you ever felt like sin is a wedge between you and God making him seem so distant? David felt this way when he sinned with Bathsheba and was confronted by the prophet! Psalm 51; is David's prayer of brokenness to God! David was a man after God's own heart. But he ignored God's word and fed his flesh.
Psalm 51:16; You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
David knew that there was nothing that could EARN God's favor back!
Just when I think I have a tiny little grasp on who God is; trying to live my life with good decisions that I think would be pleasing to God then God shows me just how far I am from knowing him at all. I think it would be easier to offer up a sacrifice than to let God work on my heart. We are born into this world as sinners. It is only natural for us to want to please ourselves instead of God.
Outward expressions cannot be a substitute for brokenness and a contrite heart!
Do we think others need help and we don't? I find myself going to church on Sundays and hearing the word of God and thinking only if so and so could hear that message! Only if that person could have been in the bible study I was in then they would act differently. I have seen people that say and do something so incredibly hateful and mean and then in the next breath claim that it was for God!!! As if to make themselves feel better when they seemed farther away from God than I could imagine. It feels like I am watching a movie in slow motion and it takes everything in me not to scream like a crazy person. Sometimes I have felt numb and distant. I asked God how? why? can this be from people who claim to be of you. I have realized that whatever other people decide to wrap their identity in; is not for me to control. I can only control me. It is me whose heart is not where it should be. It is me who God is gently whispering; "Why is your face so downcast?" "Why are you so angry?".....Maybe because in some ways I have allowed these relationships into my life, and they want to control me. Sometimes I feel their is no end to these toxic relationships. The only time I feel that I will truly be at peace is when I am in the arms of Jesus. The costumes are worn out! God is trying to unmask me. He is working on me from the inside out. It is not the external that he is concerned with. It is all about dying the flesh daily!!! No matter how bad it hurts, no matter how hard it seems. It is the one true sacrifice that leads to a worshipping heart. I want to know what it feels like to have a worshipping heart for God! I want to inherit the peace that suppresses all understanding? I want to thirst for Him like a deer pants for water; and I want to taste the living water. That is where the true peace lies. God has showed me lately that I need to ask myself some hard questions:
1) What place does the word of God have in my life?
2) Do I crave it everyday?
3) Is is a part of my daily life that I can't go without?
4) Am I daily seeking to know him through His word?
How to I get to a place of brokenness that God is looking for? Oh I know I have been brought to my knees before with all kinds of hurt and pain that I don't care to ever revisit. But have I ever known true brokenness like the spiritual kind? Have you ever known true brokeness?
God will NEVER require something of you or of me that hasn't been revealed to us through his word! You don't have to fully understand what He is asking you to do, but He will give you peace as you walk by FAITH and do it. His word has to become the most important thing in our lives that we own. It is your GPS system to this life. It is your answer to every question you have. It is alive and powerful. It is the Holy Spirit's job to make Jesus jump off the pages of the bible to you and help you have understanding, and knowledge. What does God want from you, from me? He wants us to be WOMEN OF THE WORD!!!!!! He doesn't want us to be light weights for Him. He wants to see us flex our spiritual muscle in a crisis situation. He wants to see us use what He has given us. Power that we don't even know we have.
God give us a hunger and a desire that can't be quenched; make us women who thirst for your word. Don't let us go one day without you Lord.
Praise you for you are the Ancient of Days..............................
Robbie

Andrew Peterson - Holy is the Lord

make sure you scroll down and turn our music off first!!!

When I got up today, I knew that it was going to be a busy day! I had just worked 38 hours in three days, and getting home last night at 1am i had already began to dread getting up early that morning to help my husband get our three boys ready for school. So in robot mode that morning I started my day. I knew that we were refinancing our house today, but I didn't know the "bank Lady" was coming to our house with the paper work. Great ,I thought as my husband told me the news. I had worked the last three days, and any working mom knows that when moms away our sweet gifts from God destroys our house. And to add to that, one of my friends called to say that she was stopping by to pick up some clothes that my boys had out grown. Ok, I going to quickly get organized. I grabbed the windex and started with the front door. I also closed the garage so that no one would attempt to get through that mess to walk into the house. My precious husband had let me go back to bed that morning while he took the kids to school, so to my surprise he started carrying in bags and boxes. OH NO! he had been shopping. Robbie and I joke that my husband would have made a great women, cause he likes to spend money. So he comes new pots and pans, new vacuum cleaner, new garbage can. etc. And then I stood there with my mouth open wide as he started taking EVERY thing out of our cabinets. What are you doing? I asked. He then explained to me that today we were cleaning out our cabinets and throwing out our old pots,etc. He then laughed as he said that he was hoping that new pots and pans would inspire me to start cooking again. I could have cried. So I hurried with my windex and cleaned the front door, then headed to the bathroom. As I windexed away hand prints from my bathroom mirror I felt the Holy Spirit speak..... Amy, this looks like your life. When you have to clean your heart, mind, and/or actions, you Windex the surface and hide the clutter in drawers and cabinets. So if no one opens the drawers of your heart you are fine, but if they do ;they may not like what they see. Wow that hurt. I walked into the kitchen and saw a ton of stuff laying on the kitchen floor and thought about how we hate to clean up, and especially DEEP clean, but after we do, we feel relieved! So needless to say that everyone that came over that morning saw a mess, but inside the cabinets were clean. Nothing hidden. This morning, we got rid of junk, started new. Now tomorrow we will clean another room. God doesn't expect us to be perfect, in fact All have sinned and fall short from his glory. But when others see when our mess is cleaned up, they are inspired to clean their mess up.
Father, thank you for your patience and your mercy. Continue to allow the Holy Spirit to guide us every minute of everyday.
Amy

The Heart of the matter........................

Genesis 4:4-8; Then the Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."
True worship starts on the inside then it becomes an out-ward expression!
Cain was looking for a blessing from the Lord. The Lord looked at Abel's offering with favor instead of Cain's. This made Cain very angry. When God asked him," Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast?" He was giving Cain a chance to self reflect. What is it in your life that you are angry about? What are you disappointed about in your life? What is it that you are hanging on to and can't let go? Maybe God is giving you a chance to self reflect. By hanging on to it, sin comes and crouches at your door! Do we realize how close that is? At our door, it is just about to come in our lives, in our homes. Sometimes I can't catch my breath during the day, it is almost as if I can't breath. It happens mostly in the afternoon when my girls get home from school. I feel like there are not enough hours in the day to accomplish all that is on my plate. The girls come in and they are wide open with friends etc. Having a 15 year is like having a wild horse that you are trying to break. Several times I have sat down and cried and said " I can't do this anymore." My face shows exactly what I am feeling. And to top it off I have these two lines right on the top of my forehead, between my eyes that look like the number 11.
One of my daughters said it well today; she looked at me as I was throwing dinner together as fast as I could; "mom where is your joy? can't you at least smile?" What does your face say about you? God will speak to you, mostly through his word but he can speak even through a child. I thought maybe God was giving me a second chance. A time to self reflect.
Abel gave God the first fruits of his labor. His genuine desire of his heart was to give a blessings back to God. That's the kind of sacrifice God is looking for. Abel desired nothing in return! Cain didn't give from his heart. He missed the whole point of what God really wanted from him. It was not the actual offering itself. It was his motive, his attitude. In other words God is more concerned about the WHY we do something rather than the WHAT we give or do! Abel was prompted out of FAITH to give the sacrifice that he gave to God. Cain had other motives. What is your motive when you sacrifice for God? Do you desire a blessing in return? Or is your motive one where you truly hope that it blesses God, or gives God true delight and joy?
God is not looking for those who are doing religious activities, those are only outward expressions that cannot be used as a substitute of coming to the foot of the blood stained cross with brokenness and a contrite heart!!!! God wants to see us give from the heart!!! Do we trust Him enough to give Him our all?
When we learn the characteristics of God there will be no confusion. He will be more than enough. He will be all we need. It will not matter what could happen to us in this fallen world. We could be left with nothing as long as we had our FAITH which would demonstrate that we know who our comforter is. This also would demonstrate before God that HE is all we need. HE is more than enough. This is where we begin to understand what spiritual act of worship is really means!
What is God asking of you to do to demonstrate your Faith? He is looking to and fro for someone with Faith and Trust that know He is all they need; that He is more than enough.........
Oh Father how I want you to be more than enough,
Robbie

The Ocean.....................

We are so much like the disciples. We are ready to die for Jesus one day and then forsake him and run from him the next. It is so easy for us to loose our focus on Jesus!!!
It is like we are on a roller coaster ride. One day we are on fire for him and the next day we are lukewarm for him. Why? Why do we as Christians do this? Is it this thing called life that we allow to sweep us away and busy us with the things of this world? The sad truth is that we the "church" have adopted the valves and principles of this world. There are things of unholiness in our hearts......ex. self-control, eating, spending habits etc. Caring about the impressions that we make on others and caring so little about pleasing God. We all have idols in our lives that take the place of time we could be spending with God. So why? Why do we put him on the back burner of our lives? Is this our sacrifice we are offering to Jesus? Are we offering Him the first fruit of our labors? Can we give him our everything without keeping a portion for ourselves? What are our motives, and what is our attitude when we are giving to him? Is it only to make us feel good about ourselves and our walk with God? Only so others will notice? It's like I am waving a red flag; "Look at me; Look at me.....anybody? See what I have done? Have we taken our eyes off of the eternal and placed them on our own circumstances?
I know I have had my eyes on my own circumstances lately. I have felt sadness these last few weeks. I can't explain the changes that are taking place inside of me. I am wanting to go deeper with God. I want to stop standing at the ocean and only getting my feet wet. It is comforting to stand at the ocean with only your feet in watching the water rush over your toes. But God wants more than our toes in the water. He wants us to be able to dive into the deep part of the ocean where the unknown is. You might not be able to see your feet in the deeper parts of the ocean. It can be dark in some spots of the water and who knows what is swimming around waiting to devour you. This fear of the unknown has kept me from swimming in the ocean. I am happy sitting in a chair with my feet in the water where it is safe....
My relationship mimics this with God. I am sitting on the shore where it is safe, not willing to let go and trust Him..... We must step off the shores leaving the safety nets and dive deep where the unknown lies. This is where you will find the fruits of your labor. This is what God is looking for in his relationship with you. An amazing trust where you walk in Faith!!!! Not keeping any portion for yourself. This is where your true worship comes in. This is where you start to learn the character of God... God becomes your only comforter, your only source of survival. He becomes your everything. This is where God can sit back and watch you flex your spiritual muscle by choosing to believe Him!!!!! You trust Him...You walk in Faith wherever the Father takes you even if its in the deepest part of the Ocean. You are willing to go!
In these last few weeks I have realized how hard it is to go deeper with God and maintain the relationships that you had in your life before you found God. People don't understand why you are putting your trust in God. Some people place their trust in other people and things, stuff they can touch and see. To them I seem weird, strange or even crazy. They even look at most Christian's as hypocrites. It is a lonely place to be sometimes.
I think it would be so much easier just to move to a town where no-one knows the old me. Sometimes I dream of moving to a place where the people I meet instantly know that I love God. The different masks and costumes I have worn through the years are completely worn out. I have to admit that I have hung onto them longer than I ever thought I would. I want so badly to get rid of them forever, I just don't know how!!! Trying to figure that out. Life can be funny sometimes.. I will just continue to praise God and thank Him that He is long suffering and that His love never fails.
I am praying that I become totally satisfied with Christ! Wanting so badly for my identity to be wrapped completely in Him. Praying for a new heart one that God has completed, you know that thing where He purifies us....ouch, I know its going to hurt (a lot of cob webs in mine). Hoping to be released and freed to love, and free to live in God's fullness..........
Robbie