counterfeit christian........................

Sometimes life can feel like you are hitting a brick wall.

It only takes a second and I forget who I am......
God wants us to be the CHANGE we want to see in the world............so why have I allowed the world to change me? I become affected with whoever and whomever I am with. I forget so quickly who God says I am. 
I just can't get it....get the fact that everyone is watching. It is almost like a dog that you can't keep in a fence. You do everything you can to protect that new puppy. You add to your already existing fence to try to keep the dog in so that he will not be hurt by being run over by a car or get lost or stolen. 
  God does this with us. He gives us boundaries to stay within and He has done everything to keep us inside of those boundaries but every time we think He is not looking we bust right out of that fence into the WORLD and start worshipping our own golden calf. 

We are the broken......the world is the broken...............and when we are the broken.........are we being the seen.....seen by Jesus?
A broken and humble heart God will not despise....Psalm 50:20
and Jesus........Jesus is the grace............the abundant grace that runs deep............deep into our veins........the kind that pumps the blood.............the blood of the one true sacrifice........what must we do Lord.........drink your very blood?
We want a transfusion...........the kind that only the "great physician," can give.

Are we placing our minds before the mirror of eternity?

      We here are the spiritually starving? Whispering more please...........more of your grace.
But do we really want the grace?  For all my yearnings for grace, longing for it and even begging for it-
what is the truth?.......the truth of it all? What if the truth is preferring the empty? Maybe is the me with my me-ism that enjoys the darkness.........maybe the reason I continue to do the things that I say I don't want to do is because I am the fake...........the pretend kind of Christian........the one who screams for the easy.........the one who claims that I want the Jesus more than the anything.  It is me that is the always testing.........testing Him who is the eternal.........testing Him into the now!
It feels like I eat but I am still the hungry; I drink and I still thirst.  What is it that I really want?
I am suddenly feeling it................feeling the storms of life slapping me in the face. The old me returns....and the new me the one in Christ lays dormant........in fear........becoming the frightened. And it is then that I sink....sink to that low..........that lets the old me resurrect.
I am the knee deep in a river...................searching............searching for the water..........the living water and I find it...........but I don't drink from it.......why?

 God blesses those whose heart is pure......for they will see God.(Matthew 5:8)

The tears that continue to fall.....................I am the lost..............begging to be the found. But do I really want to see............see the WELL that is right in front of me.   I must want to see it to drink from it?
    Sometimes it's the me wearing my anger like armor................but only to hide my fear. And it's the me who is continuing to ache........aching for the only one who can quench my thirst.
      I don't like the old me............wanting to become the someone else. Learning..........learning to express my gratitude in all things; ( thanks to Ann Voskamp).  I am the slow kind of learner. Wanting to take my eyes off me and my circumstances and put them on the KING.
     When will I ever get it? knowing I am in the fight for my life.............fighting for the JOY that only God can provide. Learning that the fight for JOY will be God's GLORY in the end.

all of grace,
Robbie

humbly whispering thanks today for;
Ann Voskamp (who through her words of wisdom is teaching me to count the ugly as grace; and helping me to find God in every moment)
dishes piled the high
toothpaste on the mirrors
the closets that need cleaning
for our precious Belarus child that arrives this evening
clean clothes that are not folded
the dogs that need a bath
the phone that never stops ringing
for the mother who calls and prays
for the husband who loves me even when the old me resurrects

Spiritual Warfare

 It was quiet- all the boys were in the bed. I had a few minutes of peace before I too went to bed. I walked through the back door to the patio outside. I looked around- it was dark- the air was warm, but not too warm. I heard my 70 lb puppy running to me, to  nibble at my hand. I took a deep breath and let the air slowly out of my lungs. Peace and quiet- I am so thankful for that at the end of a busy day. Oh how I love the craziness of my boys and my life, but at night- the quiet revives me. I sat down in the swing- pushing it with my feet, I felt as if I could be "rocked to sleep". I laid down on the swing- with one foot still pushing me slowly. I closed my eyes- very relaxed- but only for a minute- because then I remembered, earlier in the day I saw in the corner of that same swing,  a very large spider and a huge web. I begin to think.... what if that spider is crawling on me? Am I near the web? I laid very still trying to decide whether I was going to jump up, or just chance it and lay there.

The Holy Spirit suddenly reminded me of my protection from the battles in the spiritual world. We have no idea what goes on in the Spiritual Realm. And how we are protected from evil beyond our wildest imagination. So as I lay there very still - I begin to list ways we are protected. First- we must rely on God's power to defeat evil, not our own. Second- We must rebuke Satan in Jesus' name only. Third- We must protect ourselves with the Armor of God. fourth- We must wage warfare by the Sword of the Spirit- which is the Word of God. And finally- we must remember that while we are protected from the enemy, by the Full Armor of God, not every sin or problem is a demon that needs to be rebuked.
God is in control- And once we remember that and lay ourselves and our problems at his feet- we will have the peace and comfort we all long for.
So with all those thoughts running through my mind- I jumped up, shook my head, and moved around quickly, like a crazy person- trying to get that spider (as if it was crawling on me) off !! And then I ran inside- so much for the peace and quiet! It is over rated anyway.
Amy

Shedding

Shedding the old me is the hard..........wanting only to simplify.
Like the sea shells that wash up on shore.
Wanting to physically shed.........shed the things of this world;  pride, vanity, and insincerity..........not wanting to worry about impressions anymore.
What do we really need in this world anyway?
Couldn't we live with a little less?

The most exhausting thing in life is having a costume closet!
The being......insincere.
Social Life in Babylon can exhaust you...........resolve.........is the only way to grace.
Shedding the mask.......surrendering.......being who God says you are is the way to feel His grace.
Simplification can bring forth the shedding.......the kind that is spiritual........spiritual freedom.

We have a choice..............between simplicity or complication of life.

What will we choose? Simplicity? or Complication? Most of us choose the complication?

Is it because we crave the drama?

Love the fight for control instead of surrendering? The wanting..........wanting to be our own god?

Does it really boil down to unbelief?

Do I not believe God can and will give me grace regardless of my undeserving self?

Then that is a slap in the Savior's face.

      The time is coming that could enforce upon us simplification.

The world is changing and until we get it....until we start the seeing..........seeing the beauty of God all around us........in the wind that blows through the trees, in the leaves that fall like God's grace,  in the sunlight that spills in from the glass...........even to the pollen that collects on the porch.

To the crumbs on the counters................to the unmade beds and the laundry that piles up daily.

Beauty that is all around us. Life that can be raw sometimes and hard.....it can come at you fast. We must learn to glorify by:

seeing the world through the new kind of eyes............God's eyes.

 God is the one who teaches us that when your eyes are bad.....your whole being is filled with the darkness.

Satan is trying to keep us from the seeing............causing the darkness to spread like a virus....that leaves our souls feeling the empty.

Am I begging for the grace but preferring the empty?

Am I blinded by my own me-ism?

God's Word is our glasses....................to see the world from His lens.

We have to shed our me-ism..............laying down the pride..............the selfishness...........the vanity and start the simpler living..................by the reading................the reading of God's Word which causes us the seeing again....through the lens of God..............  the kind of lens that the great physician ordered................ones that are prescription..... ones that keep us from being the blinded by our own self........the me-ism syndrome that can complicate life.

When looking at the world through the eyes of God (His Word), then you are the light.........the light in the darkness. No longer does the darkness dwell inside of you. The change starts from the inside.

We have the choice for now....................the choice to change..........to shed ones shell knowing that

shedding the old you is the beginning of grace......................... shedding starts by losing yourself.

We will only find ourselves when we lose ourselves.

God is faithful...............wanting to pour out His Grace...........everywhere. You have to want to see it.........in the everyday moments...............praying for my eyes to be the open wide.......by the opening of His word.

all of grace,

Robbie

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

(Matthew 10:39)

Thankful for :
Sunday night dinner
for a pastor who speaks the truth
for mason jars to drink sweet tea
summer storms
for the choir woman who hugs me the long and hard and whispers are you OK? And we don't even know each other's name.
for the trash that is always overflowing
for my daughter coming home to tell me about her night
for a church service that makes you cry the hard

Weekends are for knocking loud

Seek, and you will find...........(luke 11:9)

May all your weekend wanderings be one of heart pounding knocks....
knocking on heaven's door........you have to knock with the crucified thief
to him who knocks it will be opened.(Luke 11:10)

all of grace,
Robbie

Our eyes are upon you

2 Chronicles 20:12
"Oh our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."


Our daily battles are not ours but Gods. The only way to get though them are to lay them down. Battles are different for everyone- Marriage, Money, Friends, Family- Sometimes I feel as if I need to lay down on the battlefield in fetal position and cry. But that is not what God wants us to do. He wants us to lay our problems-battles at the feet of Jesus. Daily life is a battle- We must be ready. Daily we need to meet with Jesus early in the morning and pray. Sit still. Just be with him. Sit alone with him.
Why is that so hard. If we know what we must do, why is it so hard? Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night- I feel God is asking me to spend time with him- It is then I start whining- Father I am tired, please let me sleep. What am I missing by not taking these small sacrifices for God?
Will I ever see the big picture? We keep ourselves so busy daily - Satan uses this to keep our eyes off God and on ourselves. This poem says it all.........
                                        Talk it over with God.....
You're worried and troubled about everything. Wondering and fearing what tomorrow will bring. You long to tell someone, for you feel so alone, But your friends are all burdened with cares of their own. There is only one place and only one friend, Who is never too busy, and you can always depend on him to be waiting with arms open wide, To hear all the troubles you came to confide..... For the heavenly father will always be there when you seek him and find him at the alter of prayer.
Keep your eyes on God!
Amy

Challenge...

I challenge you:

     Pray for God to open your eyes...to see the things around you...to see the people that surround your days.
So that you do not miss being a blessing to someone.
Who knows what surrounds your day?  Don't miss out on what it could be...
Open our eyes Lord...
Open our eyes...

See the World..........through the lens of God.
     "He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? " (Romans 8:32)
When we are the seeing............the thanksgiving flows from within us.
How we see determines how we live!
Do we have eyes to see? To see through Him?
His beauty is everywhere.
We have to seek His beauty...........or else we may seek our own.
Blessings,
The Yahweh Sisters

Creating a quiet place for prayer..............

A prayer bench..............one with Scripture, a journal, a prayer book, hymnal and a candle.
      A place to escape the busyness..............of life.
      After all doesn't Jesus remind us that "My house shall be a house of prayer."
So how do we build a house of prayer?

I wanted that special place for God and I......not that we should try and confine Him!
We are suppose to pray without ceasing........ praying any-where anytime.....but this was personal
somewhere I could go before the house awakes...............and have a special place that is just for me and God.

A longing..............a need........a willingness........to purify the heart!

Knowing in my heart that a house of prayer is one grows the closer to God.
The closer you come to God the closer you come to finding your true self.

     To  simply draw us deeper.................deeper into himself.

    
Prayer is a gift........pray with books to help..........the saints before us can sometimes show us the way.

Music can help calm the clutter inside the head.....and quiet the soul.

My view from my prayer bench.....(Lord help me if the Fed-Ex or the UPS man knocks on the door while I am sprawled out on the church pew) they may never return. Sometimes I truly feel like I live in a fish bowl.
There are glass doors on both sides of my house that mirror each other. No privacy!

The reason I created this prayer place:

It's time to stop and pray but I am always the busy............busy cleaning the house.

I am busy wiping the crumbs from the counter.....putting one more load in the wash. Making one more bed.

The Holy Spirit is asking once again; "Where do I come into this relationship?" Only after? After the cleaning?

After the kids are gone to school? After you get caught up in your day? 

What am I putting first in my life?

Because it is an idol.

When will I learn to put HIM first? Making Him my first consideration everyday creates calmness in my home. Creates a ; "NO CONFUSION," zone! 

Knowing that the only thing that keeps me from growing closer to the Father is the ME.

I don't pray enough because I am living my life for ME.

I am the hoping by creating this quiet place to kneel and pray that I will stop and be still and maybe it will be the life changing kind.

When the kids are off to school in Babylon it's the me that has the inner struggle to cease the cleaning and do the kneeling!

Where does God fall in my life? Isn't He supposed to be the first?

I claim I want the Jesus more than the anything......it's the time and the effort that I don't invest.

Just when did I think I was the one who has it all together?

Shouldn't we take time each and everyday to be still and know that He is God?

 Trying to put God first in my life.....by finding a quiet place to be still and communion with HIM.

Wanting to learn to resolve..........just like Daniel did in Babylon!

Wanting that peace that only Christ can give......when He is first!

all of grace,

Robbie

thankful for:

the saints before me

good books

for a washer and a dryer

clean bathrooms

ceiling fans on the porch

rocking chairs

plants that always need a little water

herb garden

the grass that the lawn man never comes to cut

the old truck that my husband loves with seats that are duck-taped and the trash that flies in your eyes while you ride

for the work who calls for the home-made banana pudding to be made by tomorrow

the end of school year activities that are making a momma wild