Monday, October 10, 2011


Amy and I had front row seats in the middle of a forest............we wait in silence! We hear streams bubbling as water flows down the mountain.

In my silence I ask myself do I really want to die? Die to self..........and be resurrected with the king?
Maybe I don't really BELIEVE in the resurrection of Christ?

Romans 6:4;
We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

We watch the sun flicker through the trees like glittering gold. We wait before streams in a desert.
There is a wood-pecker up above, and an owl hooting to another. And I wonder is it normal to think about life's pain as if it is the end to all things?
It's me who denies the resurrection when I look at death as the final!
Generations come and generations go..............but what  is it that I am seeking in the now?
Is it the temporary valve system?
The Eternal?

Feeling small in this spinning, falling world........meditating on John 15 has split me wide open!
Sitting beneath the trees my body quakes...........something inside of me yearns for more in this life. I tell Amy I don't know why the sunlight makes me start to cry. Is it my guilt ridden sin?  Maybe it's my selfishness, in my me-ism little world.
Maybe I weep because for so long I lived by the temporal valve system. Even enjoying it! And wanting more of it.
Aren't the deniers of the resurrection of Christ the ones who don't see His grace that is everywhere?
 His grace and mercy rein even in the darkness!
Isn't freedom found in Christ?
I open my hands and reach them up to the sky....................and quietly mumble......."I surrender all."

The sun warms my face.........and I ask myself, "what if I lived my life like the tomb was empty?"

The same power that raised Christ from the dead is LIVING in you and is time to start living like it!

all of grace,

gratitude that keeps on coming:

-having homemade turkey and dressing in the mountains
solitude with God
coming home to my bed
clean sheets
husband who missed me
learning to wait on God
long walks
a pastor who drove the long to give us Communion in the mountains
life changes
fresh air to breath
coolness of fall
leaves turning and falling
candles flickering into the night
A God who is unchanging peace and rest
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