GAPS IN OUR FAITH

                  (a quiet repost while I enjoy my family at the beach)

     This weekend was exhausting to say the least. I worked Saturday in Trauma ICU for 13 hours in a level one trauma hospital... It seems that Charlotte has a very high crime rate, higher than NY. It did seem that way Saturday. I have never seen so many young people laying in hospital beds for things that were self-inflicted. But my patient was an elderly lady who had been struck by a car on her morning walk.. So very sad. This lady, according to family and friends, was an amazing person. They said she was self-less, always doing for others. She loved her family, and she loved God.. and now she is suffering from a horrific accident that may take her life.
On Wednesday mornings I attend "Women of the Word" at my church. Our leader is an amazing lady with a love for God that makes us all want what she has. She got a phone call on Tuesday afternoon, the day before we meet to have bible study. I didn't know this at the time but her son was a missionary in Africa. The phone call was from the American Embassy. She was told that her son was dead at the age of 26 years old. They gave no explanation why. This is where some of my Gaps in my Faith are. This is where I struggle!
There are kids that die everyday in this world from horrible accidents. There are loved ones that are diagnosed with a terminal illness and die. There are tragedies happening all around us. It makes us want to cry out WHY? Why does the Lord allow certain horrible things to take place? With one breath, with one word He, who created the earth in 7 days, could stop any tragedy, He could heal any sickness. He could do away with death. So WHY? Why doesn't he?
I was looking over my notes from church on Sunday. We have been studying 1 Thessalonians for a couple of weeks which is dealing with Faith, Trials and Tribulations, and all the things that test US and our FAITH!!! Pastor pointed out that all of us have a Gap in our faith! Think about that for a moment. Where do you struggle in your faith? Oh how I wish I could hear your thoughts on this one. Please, Please, PLEASE leave me a comment on what some of your struggles are when it comes to Faith!
When dealing with affliction and distress we are supposed to be comforted by our FAITH.. Did you know that? We are to walk by FAITH not by SIGHT. If we don't walk by FAITH then everything we do is in vain........ It is like turning around and looking at God and saying; "I DON'T BELIEVE.."
One reason we have GAPS in our FAITH is because we turn things over to God and in the next minute we take it back trying to handle things ourselves.. We think we can fix it!!! Anybody? Listen to me girls: WE HAVE TO LET GOD BE GOD!!! When we can't let God be God then reality becomes clear - WE DON'T TRUST GOD!!!
We live in a fallen world and some people are going to experience tragedy. There will be parents who will lose a child. There will be people who lose a spouse to an accident, illness, etc. We ourselves might have some major health problems to deal with.
People look at people who are Christians or who are in ministry and shake their heads with disbelief and scream: "If your God was so GOOD, then WHY? Why would He allow these horrible things to happen?????"
This is where people like me step in and FEEL like we have to explain GOD!!!!!
God did not die on the cross for me or for you to try and explain him.... He didn't say "MAKE ME LOOK GOOD..." Have you ever felt like you had to make God look good to someone? I know I have....
Isaiah 55:8: For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways.......
We would be foolish to think we understand God!!!His knowledge and wisdom are far greater than mans.. This is where man tries to fit God into a box and mold him into what they think He is....Instead we should be striving to fit into his plans. This is what separates the real Christian from the fake Christian..
When people come to us hurting and looking for an answer, we should say
"NO I don't UNDERSTAND God... I can't explain Him.. But I know this: GOD IS GOOD.....And HE HAS A PLAN!" He didn't say "make me look good, " He said PROCLAIM ME!!! Proclaim me during your trials.. Trials are part of walking with Jesus.. Pain is part of the package. Pain will weed out the authentic Christians from the fake ones. This is when our gaps will start to close and it is a painful process!!! Suffering produces Patience!! When we go through trials it qualifies us to help someone else! When we are broken spiritually that is when God will get the Glory!! He will teach us who He is during our trials. And once we start to understand the characteristics of God, everyone and everything can come crashing down around us and we will remain standing... He will burn off the fake!!! He will burn away all the impurities, all the stuff that gets in the way of you and Him...
Trial's are not something happening to us, it is God working in us....And guess what? You are never closer to God than when you are in the trial!!!
Psalm 9:9-10;
The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you..................
To forsake someone means to abandon that person. God's promise doesn't mean that if we trust in him we will not go through suffering or loss. It means that God himself will never LEAVE you.. No matter what you are facing.... NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU!!!!!!!!!
Saturday night Sean, my 15 year old, missed getting home before curfew. She called around 12:30 am that night. We were both screaming in the phone trying to figure out where she was. When we couldn't get a clear answer from her my husband insisted she hang up and text him the address where she was so he could come and get her. (big mistake; don't ever let them get off the phone with you) Once they hung up we never received a text and was unable to reach her again by phone etc. for a short time. She was with some friends that are not her normal group which I think made things even worse. The friend she was with would not answer her phone either. We had no contact information for the girls' parents. All we could do was continue calling Sean and pray. I felt like I could not breath and then it was like pure panic enveloped me. My body started shaking and I felt this coldness all around me. It was paralyzing fear from thinking about the "what ifs" and the unknown of where and what my child was doing. My husband was pacing the driveway hoping that she would come home. Being a critical care nurse I was starting to have these thoughts that something had gone terribly wrong.
Then the phone rang and it was the dad of the girl Sean was with. He said the girls were now safe and at his house. This was the best news we could hear. We were so confused and didn't understand what was going on, but our child was safe. ( Praise you Lord!!!) Did I stop and trust? No, I went right in to panic and unbelief. My husband went to get her at 2 am. As I waited anxiously for him to bring her home, I just sat in my room in silence. Then it hit me that He, God himself, was right there with me the whole time. He is where his children are. He is in the same place He has always been. 'ON THE THRONE!!!!'
When it is the most miserable time in our lives. When we are sitting in a church for a funeral service for a loved one and we see the family walking in, with tears streaming down their faces. It is He, God himself who leads the way. It is He, God, who is walking in front of them leading the way. It is He, God, standing right there with us breaking us free from bondage that has held on to us for so long. We have to Trust Him and know Him enough to know that He is there...never leaving us and never forsaking us, but there waiting on us to lean on Him and ask Him to guide our next steps, our next reaction. He wants to fill the Gap, and only He can if we allow him too.
Trying to learn to talk to God when I am in the fire. I want God to fill the gaps of my faith, one hole at a time, until my path to Him is a smoother one to walk on.
all of grace,
Robbie

July 4th

In June 1776- representatives from the 13 colonies fought  for their freedom- a freedom that would declare them free from Great Britain.
Frances Scott Key- a lawyer witnessed a miracle in 1776- After numerous attacks- the American Flag stood- this event inspired him to write the Star Spangled Banner........
                                                        The Star Spangled Banner
Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light. What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's  last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright starts, thro' the perilous fight, o'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming, and the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof thro' the night, that OUR flag was still there. Oh, say, does that star spangled banner yet wave, o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Freedom is not free.... Many lost their lives for our freedom. Celebrate them and "One Nation under God"

Our land can be healed through Jesus Christ-    Humble yourselves
                                                                        Pray
                                                                        Seek Jesus
                                                                        Turn from wicked ways
    "It will be then that we will hear from heaven, and our land will be healed".

Pray for your country today
Amy

Weekends are for singing praises to the King

     Our 5th year with this precious child of God from Belarus....she comes here in the Summer for a couple of months for fresh air and a second family who loves her.  While she is here she is able to receive medical care, eye care and she even gets to go to a dentist!
     She who has no running water....she who doesn't even have a mattress to sleep on.....she who has no bathroom and who has to walk an hour to school everyday in snow that sometimes comes up to your waist.

     Praising God this weekend for people like Ginger and Keith!!!  It is the Ginger whose heart is pumping His love through her very veins........... she recognizes the nudging from the most high.... she is the obedient......so she sends the most amazing email ever and provides a way for this child of God to be with the us......And when we stand before the throne: 
The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ (Matthew 25:40)


     The sisters who have been with her since she was the 7......"Katya," who lived the first 5 years of her life in an orphanage......then the parents who took the classes to get her back and who loved her enough to enroll her in this amazing program......ABRO (American Belarus Relief Organization)  http://www.abro.org/

The once emptiness is now singing her praises to the King.

May all your weekend wanderings be one of singing your praises to the King.

¹⁵ Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”(Mark 10:15)

all is grace,

Robbie

HE SPEAKS.........

 Working on a towel for our precious child who lives with us in the summer from Belarus....... 

"GOD WILL SPEAK TO THE HEARTS of those who prepare themselves to hear; and conversely, those who do not so prepare themselves will hear nothing even though the Word of God is falling upon their very ears every Sunday...." -A.W. Tozer.
Do you ever feel like your relationship with God is one-sided? I talk and He listens. Do you ever feel like your circumstances of life are starting to close in on you, and you keep praying with no response? Would it amaze you to know that God is speaking and moving on your behalf even when He is silent?
     "If we come to him doubting His ability to speak, we will have a difficult time listening. So we must come expectantly" (Charles Stanley)
     We, God's children, are supposed to approach the throne boldly and in expectancy!
I have battled this exact thing with God these last few days. In fact months. I have been praying and praying for confirmation on which bible study to do next. For the past several years God has burned a hole in my heart for every bible study, and I have immediately known which study to choose. But this time I took my eyes off of Him. I was looking from one side to another. I was looking up and down. I was looking everywhere except to Jesus, everywhere except in His eyes. Christian friends kept telling me, "Be Still" and "Be Patient." I kept saying "I am, I am" while spending time praying. I even started having anxiety over it. I thought "Has He left me? Have I done something wrong? Is He mad at me?". I started praying more and more about all of my ugly sins. Even the ones I had already asked for forgiveness for, thinking maybe they were the problem. It was almost like I was having to start over again back at square one. Then I had these thoughts that maybe I just couldn't do this anymore. I was tired, drained and pulled in so many directions. Then I thought that just maybe I had not been called by God for any of this. But the entire time God was taking His hands and grabbing my face and whispering"Look at me Robbie. Look at me. I am right here above all of your anxiety, above all of your fears. Look at me Robbie. I am up here on higher ground."

Sometimes you have to get to higher ground and away from your circumstances. You sometimes need a better view! That's when you remove yourself and take your focus off of you.

My eyes were actually focused on everything in this world except....yes, you guessed it, God. The amazing thing now looking back is that He kept whispering. And here I was with my crazy schedule, three demanding daughters, attempting to be the wife God has called me to be, the ministry classes I am in, the monogramming I do on the side, the long 14 hour days of nursing in a critical care setting...I could go on and on AND I couldn't focus on the one thing that matters the most, BUT yet God was still moving, still speaking, still whispering.
I had carefully picked out an alternative, instead of WAITING on God and not moving until I received what it was FROM HIM. Satan may not be creative, but he can be very effective......if we allow him to be.

My eyes were totally focused on my circumstances, and I had stopped looking for God's answer. If we truly value God's word and believe it, then we should not MOVE until we receive divine direction. We live in a world where it is instant gratification! We want God's plan ASAP! I know I do. I was actually depending on myself to pick out the study, even as I was asking for God's opinion the entire time and knowing I was going to pick out what I felt was the right one.
Praise His precious name that God never grows tired. He showed me today that we must remove ourselves from the craziness of our lives. Get away with Him on higher ground so that we can FOCUS our eyes on Him. Take our eyes off of our own circumstances, so we can BE STILL. Then be obedient.
So why is it so hard to wait on God? Our eyes are focused on our own circumstances. His hands are holding your face in His hands. Stop looking all around at you and your life. Look at Him and you just might hear him whisper "I Love You. I have the answer to your prayer."
The Hebrew word for Stand is AMAD which means "To Endure". Be determined to Stand and wait until you hear from God and ENDURE!

WAIT FOR THE LORD
BE STRONG, AND
LET YOUR HEART
TAKE COURAGE
YES, WAIT FOR THE LORD....Psalm 27:14

all is grace,
Robbie


(a quiet repost; packing for the beach for a week with 4 girls and 3 dogs! The car ride is going to be fun!)

Floating in the Dead Sea

a quiet repost from December 2010 (Our Israel Trip) taking some time today to work on our new blog! 

     The Sea is beyond words to describe;  beautiful doesn't do it justice....................lying as smooth as glass in the mornings it seemed like a rainbow of colors with amazing blues and greens with white that accented the shore lines. There are rugged mountains that rise up on each side of the Dead Sea.....It is hard to tell where one mountain begins and one ends.  The mountains seem to mirror each other in her calm waters. The water is so dense that it keeps you the human afloat. We heard so much about the healing of the salt water for people with arthritis to skin issues like psoriasis and the youthfulness of the mud itself......

The Dead Sea makes a dramatic path between the mountains of Judah to the west and Moab to the east. Moab was the last of the Israelites' journey to the Promised Land and homeland to Ruth.....The clarity of the scenes in the afternoon literally took our breath away.....With 30 percent salt and minerals makes it the MOST saline water in the world.........

Floods and springs from oases like Ein Gedi and the Jordan River continue to deposit fresh water into the Dead Sea.......With an evaporation rate of as much as 60 inches a year, it leaves behind minerals and salt in large dense concentrations.

I was so amazed to learn that when we were floating in the dead sea that we were at that very moment in the very lowest place on Earth you could possibly be. Wow! (It is 1,300 feet below sea level), it extends all the way to East Africa. It is surrounded by the most beautiful scenery in the world.  

     As Amy and I floated in the dead sea I felt like God was saying to me; "take it all in;" take all of His amazing craftsmanship in.  I can only imagine what the place He has prepared for you and for me must look like. He is so detailed with His creation leaving nothing out........This was a treasured moment in time for me floating in the Dead Sea.  It felt like therapy for my soul.... It was one of the happiest times for my soul.....I never stopped smiling and I didn't want that moment in time to end.

 Amy and I desperately wanted to try for youthfulness!   Since we were both in the waters at the same time we don't have the pics of what happened next. Why am I always the fearful one? I was unsure about walking into the Dead Sea so I followed the guides instructions to a tee. We were told we must wear shoes in the Sea. So I bought a very expensive pair of the cheesiest flip-flops available that looked like something we could get in America at the dollar store.(everything there was so expensive) I put them on like they told us to and wore them into the water. ( Of course "Amy, " the strong one kicks her shoes off before she stepped into the Sea. )    As I stepped into the water Amy was in front of me. They didn't warn us that the mud would be so thick that you would sink like quick sand. When I started to sink up my legs and couldn't walk any further,  I panicked and began to climb; "YES CLIMB," up Amy's back. She was falling face first down into the dead sea.... I think I drew blood with my nails trying so hard to stand on her! All I cared about at that point was to stand on something... She was such a good sport about the whole thing. She was laughing so hard that I think she drank half of the dead sea!!!!It took me a little time to feel secure enough to climb off of her so she could catch her breath. She then proceeded to tell me that the Dead Sea is so salty nothing can live in it.......Wow what on earth was I thinking?   Not even a boat can be used in the dead sea. So I relaxed and started to float.

       Interesting note that a Greek geographer, Pausanius, named this water the Dead Sea........... But in the bible, it was never called by that name. It was called the Salt Sea (Genesis 14:3 NIV) or the Eastern Sea (Ezekiel 47:10) Although Ezekiel's vision that the fish along its shores will be as many as the Great (Mediterranean ) Sea; it has not yet come true...but Israel scientists discovered the Dead Sea indeed has life.  An algae-known as donaliella-thrives there and is a rich source of beta carotene now raised in pools of Red Sea water near Eilat, 100 miles south.

The Sea gives life in other ways: among its minerals is potash, a basic component of fertilizer which is sold all over the world.  It also has bromide a natural tranquilizer (maybe the reason why I didn't want to get out of the water..lol) and combinations of calcium, magnesium, and potassium.  Amy and I thought we had just landed in the largest spa in the world so we floated so far out that they had to blow some type of horn to get us in.... it was starting to get dark... Our skin had never felt so youthful... After the mud was washed off we had this red glow about us. It was truly an incredible experience...

Due to the quicksand like mud one of my very expensive cheesy shoes were swallowed up in the mud. So here I go again , with one shoe on and one shoe off. Yes I had to leave the Dead Sea with one shoe on and one shoe off.  For those of you who read about our arrival to Israel that is exactly how I arrived and landed in Tel A Viv with one shoe on and one shoe off. What is it about me and my shoes...Maybe God is trying to tell me something!!!!!

all is grace,

Robbie

Planting seeds

Sitting in the office- getting the much needed paperwork done- My manager was also sitting at her desk working- both looking at our computers as if to memorize what was on the screen. It was quiet in the room, except for the pounding of the keyboard- when she asked me about religion. Things are different in the south- she said. People have faith and God here. As I sat in my chair- I begged God for the right words to say. I listened to her voice as she told me that she wanted what they have. I was hoping that I was apart of the " they".

Do you realize how many people sit in their cars in the morning reading their bibles before work? I sat still - thinking- I knew I sometimes did that- grab a quick devotion, before starting by day. But enough people doing that- that she recognized it. I usually drive into the parking deck on two wheels- trying to beat the clock. But to think that someone would see this... and this to make a difference.

I started to speak- what would I say- What could I say.....Ive never thought of doing "life" without God. I'm closer to him now, always knew him- and knew where to turn when I needed him.But never the relationship I have now with him.  I explained to her that what she saw in others- that she wanted so desperately was a relationship with God.  A relationship you can depend on..... I always have him- when I am lonely and afraid. She told me in a desperate voice, that she wanted her kids to have that too- to have God- to have something else in life- something that they were missing.

I need to be prepared to- witness- I don't want to miss an opportunity to plant a seed of faith.

God meant for us to be witnesses of Jesus Christ through the natural outcome of "living for him". We make it complicated..... People can spot a "phony" Christan! One of the best ways to share your faith is to demonstrate a positive attitude- especially in a crisis. When others around you see a peace in you that cannot be explained-  they want what you have. One thing that everyone longs for is..... Peace.

Another way to share your faith is to treat people with respect and dignity- no matter what the circumstances. Find ways to bless others- this not only plants amazing seeds for a harvest in you, but in others. By doing this, you show others that you live what you believe.

Finally- The most important way to " plant seeds" is to be quick to forgive. Forgiving quickly is a powerful way to show how Christianity really works.

God doesn't need us to build his kingdom, but he wants to use us. He wants that relationship with us. We must walk the walk and talk the talk. Others are watching us, even when we do not realize it.

In his service

Amy

intimate with grief

      Wasn' t able to post last Wednesday, we lost power for 12 hours due to a really bad storm. I worked  Tuesday and Wednesday in the Neuro ICU. Living the tired and then the complaining came how it's the me who can't sleep with the no air and the 100 degree weather! Had to put my make-up on Wednesday morning by candle light sweating. Felt like I was living "little house on the prairie" for a moment.(lol)
      When the power went out the most violent storm was taking place, it was around 10pm on Tuesday night. I had not been home long. I was on the phone with my brother mumbling how horrible my day was in the ICU when the lightening snapped, crackled and popped and then the phone went dead.   It was then that a weird feeling came over me as I heard the sirens screaming like they were at my front door.   I felt pure fear taking over me. I sat there in the dark thinking, " I don't want to be the me."  The one who begs for the more of Jesus but the one who is the fearful.........of what He might bring my way the next.
      I couldn't see as I reached for my cell phone to use it as a light to find candles etc. I started thinking about all the storms lately that had destroyed people's everything some even taking loved ones lives.
       I was quickly distracted by the increasing loudness of the sirens that did not stop. The storm continued to almost gain momentum and the thought crossed my mind if we needed to get the kids and run.
     I had a very subtle urge to stop and pray for the one who the sirens screamed loudly for. I quickly mumbled out a simple little prayer and missed the nudging of the "Holy Spirit," to bend the knees low.
      It is always such a faint little nudge, how easily it's the me that switch's the thoughts right back to my world.
     I sit late into the night with the flicker of candle light. The kids cry and say they are the scared. Maybe it's the all of us that is afraid of the what the Saviour might bring the next! Maybe it's us the adults and children alike afraid to trust..........trust the WILL of God?  I sit and I think about all of my short comings and how  ugly my sins are. How it was the me that changed my assignment before I left the work tuesday.  Knowing that I could not handle the mother of the dying child one more day! I murmur a quiet little prayer asking for the forgiveness one more time. Yes His words are written on my heart.....so why is it that I am the afraid?
     Maybe it's simply my unbelief........."I believe"....................oh God please help me with my UN-belief!

             It wasn't until the next day that I learned how the sirens were only a few feet away at a church......the kind where the youth were staying for a week to do community service....It was the storm that knocked the power out for hours and the darkness that came that the no-one could possibly see in the storm...... the teens who laid on the concrete in front of the church to watch and feel the rain fall on their face. The dad with the three boys the one who volunteers....the people who refer to him as "salt," (the most amazing man of Christ that loved working with these teens), who took his time off to be a counselor for a week....who was trying to round them up to come inside from the storm where it was the safe...who didn't see the teens that laid...........the others who jumped up the fast when they saw the lights from the ATV but the one who stayed.....where is God ? Where is HE?
       The families that will never be the same.
      A 15 year boy who had spent his last hours volunteering at one of Charlotte's low in-come neighborhoods.......a (volunteer-counselor) only 43 who is a parent himself and a lover of Jesus! Why?  I scream out!  But who am I?  The one who craves the easy who lives in my me-ism little life. Knowing that we all have dreams........."dreams for our children."
        What are our prayers for our children? What are our dreams for our children living in a dying world that is the uncertain? Never questioning their safety as we send them off to do good church activities.

     Like a crown of thorns that is etched in our minds.
God is here.........dwelling among us even in all our pain...understanding that it is the us who are not the acquainted with grief.  As Oswald Chambers said:  (We are not the "acquainted with grief," in the same way our LORD is. We may live through it, we may have to endure it.....but we have yet to become intimate with it.

We try and look at grief through the lens of reason......forgetting so quickly that we are living in a fallen world! And SIN being what nailed our PRINCE to the cross that day............our sins! It is sin that can destroy the Jesus in us.......unless we are dying daily for Him.

I see the cross and it reminds me it was Him who sweated blood............. And it is US who approaches the cross day after day the unworthy! We try so desperately to grab on to even a piece of His cloak and hang on long enough while we beg for HIS blood to cover our very me-ism sins. He allows the dying of us and the rising with HIM.......He holds on tight to us as we fight to get out of His grip. Knowing that we have to surrender every single day of our lives to die with Him daily...to walk even in our fear. Although the world keeps turning and His people keep aching we must have the courage to stand up and say "not my will father but your will."  And hold on to Him even tighter letting His blood cover us removing our "ugly sins," until that day where we will be with Him in the forever!

He is a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.......(Isaiah 5:3-3)

all of grace,
Robbie