Weekends are for transparency

NO double-dealing must the Christian man have... No playing fast and loose with God or man. No hypocritical professions or false principles. HE MUST BE AS TRANSPARENT AS GLASS.

                                                                                         Charles Spurgeon


May your weekend be one of learning to be transparent........... as glass.
Genuine spiritual transparency begins with communion with God.


all of grace,
Robbie

Commitment

" O Lord of hosts, blessed is the man who trusts in you, leaning and believing on you, committing all and confidently looking to you, and that without fear or misgiving. " Psalm 84:12

" Roll your works upon the Lord, commit and trust them wholly to him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to his will, and so shall your plans be established and succeed." Proverbs 16:3

"..... you are not your own..... For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's." 1 Corinthians 6: 18-20

Quality relationships are founded on the rock of commitment, not the shifting sand of feelings or emotions. God calls us to be people of commitment, first to him and then to others.

" The Lord's eyes range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." 2 Chronicles 19:9

Why am I so afraid of "taking that next step"? Am I afraid of what God truly has in store for me? Am I afraid of what it will "cost" me to give my all to him?

I think it is all of them.

What would the sacrifice be? What would I have to give up? I feel that it is time, time to take that next step. I am sitting in the "puddle" when I could be in the pond. Am I satisfied with the pleasure of the puddle, when I could be stretched out in the pond. What is holding me back?

Would I be letting go of " control"? Stepping out in faith.

The only way to be truly committed, is to step out.... to take it one minute at a time. To pray through every situation. I feel like I am in a " tug of war" between walking in the flesh and walking in the spirit. The flesh is fun, the flesh doesn't demand me to change. I can continue to be "self- centered", thinking of others, only if it is convenient for me...... Wow that hurts when you really sit down and think of all that I am not.... I consider others after I consider "ME"......

I

I'm ready to be committed to God- to take that next step..... It will cost me something! Look what Jesus did for us! He does not want us to be separated from him. He wants a relationship with him.  First.... I will get in his word.... not one scripture here and there, but REALLY get in his word. At work this week, one of my co-workers said that she was "spiritual", but did not want a relationship with God- she believed, but did not anything more.  I felt a "stab" inside. How sad... I not only want a closer relationship with God, but I want to be a light... A light that leads others to Jesus.

Draw me closer- Father- closer to you!

Amy

A God who still performs miracles

I grabbed my bible and notes to sit with God before the teen bible study started. I was sitting at the dining room table praying and felt this over-whelming urge to cook dinner for them right away. I quickly dismissed it thinking why would I cook at 2pm the girls don't arrive until 430 or 5pm. As I started praying again the nudging came even stronger than before. I remember standing up turning my  oven on thinking, "this is crazy....why am I cooking this early?"  But once the food was in the oven I felt peace.

 I could hear workers cutting down trees and it sounded like it was happening in my front yard.

 I finished up my lesson and realized that it was around 4pm and the teens would be arriving soon. As I stood up I heard a loud boom and my power was gone....It was 4:15pm.

I ran out side on my front porch and saw tree cutters and I felt anger and frustration start to rise inside of me........... thinking; "they must have cut my power by mystake!" Teens started pulling into my driveway left and right without me noticing because I am screaming and waving my arms like a crazy woman to the tree crew saying, "HEY, you cut my power!!!!!!" They ignored me and it was then that I started thinking, "Are they just dumb?"

I wasn't even wearing any shoes as I stormed off my porch and across the street I went screaming STOP you cut my power!!!!
     It was then one of them looked at me and shut his machine off and started walking towards me.
He said, " Can I help you?" I was very agitated by this point with all the noise... the power off the no air in the 100 degree heat......"Can you help me?" YES....YOU cut off my power and I have a teen bible study starting!!!! As soon as I said those words "BIBLE STUDY," I wished I hadn't. My behavior was not radiating Jesus. He said ma'am if you will walk over this way and look down the street you can clearly see that a tree (NOT RELATED TO ANYTHING WE ARE DOING FELL ON THE POWER BOX.) "The whole neighborhood is out!" I have never felt so small as at that moment. I held my head down and murmured, "I am so sorry." As I was walking back to my house feeling like I had yet again let my father down-thinking maybe this person needed to know Jesus and I just blew it! It is then that I hear, "ma'am...I think there is something I am supposed to tell you. I turn around and when I did-something drew me to his eyes- I felt like I was being pulled in-to his eyes. Like I was looking deep into the core of his soul and it was there that I saw him................"JESUS."
     This young man had holes up and down the sides of his ear lobes. He looked like he hadn't had a bath in weeks. His clothes were the torn kind with holes from the hard work. His face had not been shaved in days. It looked like maybe he had chosen a life that was not so "holy."
But when I looked into his eyes, deep into his eyes I saw something that took me to my knees.
I gasped- the tears that stung my face even before he could tell me what he had to tell me.
He said: I keep trying to ignore this feeling that I must share with you a story that recently happened to me........... You know all the storms that have been sweeping through the south and destroying peoples lives? I said yes......."Well a few of my friends and I figured since we are tree cutters that maybe we could help those who are less fortunate than us-(I said less fortunate than you?) So we gathered our tools and just started driving.
     I have never seen anythings so bad in my life! A few buddies of mine where helping with cleaning up this large area of trees etc and one of my buddies saw this blue cooler (now there were household items scattered everywhere; household items were blown for miles) but for some strange reason we opened it! It nearly scarred us to death because when we opened the cooler we had the surprise of our life---- there was a 3 year old little boy curled up inside the cooler-sleeping.....we thought he was dead. I fell back I was so scared he was dead and then out of no-where he popped up his little head with his dirty little face and started crying.......my buddies were so relieved and couldn't believe what they had just seen.....A MIRACLE......we all started crying and screaming full of joy...........and my friend starting asking the little boy questions- "How did you get into this cooler?" The little boy started crying real hard and screamed......."THE MAN WITH THE WINGS PUT ME HERE........THE MAN WITH THE WINGS!!!!!!!"
By this time I was crying so hard that my husband was driving home from work and saw me standing with this strange guy crying he thought the guy had hurt me in some way and ran over to me. I couldn't even get the words out to tell him the story......  The young man had to tell my husband what he had just told me and we both stood there like we were standing in front of an empty tomb---Was I just listening to an ANGEL speak? I ran home terrified full of joy....wanting to share with the teens what had just happened!
     I don't know who this guy was but I can tell you there was something very HOLY about him. He who looked like he didn't have much........he who looked like life had not been the kind.......I had just stood there feeling like I had been at the feet of Jesus......something so tangible, so real.....something that I could hold on-to. I tried to choke back my joyful sobs as I told the teens.
     The beauty that spilled forth that day from the most unlikely source. That day I bent down low- cried out to the King.....whispering over and over again my thank you's for speaking to broken down me. Just like the woman at the tomb I stood there trembling....full of joy. Because who wouldn't tremble standing at the feet of Jesus? With just a glimpse- a glimpse of a God who still performs miracles even today!

Isn't it interesting that my food was done on time and I could feed my teens?

all of grace,

Robbie

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inability to move forward

     I know it's the something when she doesn't call the last few days-we are both working at the hospital today the crowds are large and the patients are sick the stress of it all makes it hard to focus-to hear to breath. I catch up with her before the day begins
She tells me the hard- the hard of her week and I feel it too when the life is heavy down upon us. She tells of what's the next and the how much. I say too much when I say, "slow down" the simplicity of life you are just life living way to fast trying to carry the burden all on your own.

Who am I the woman with unclean words to speak the truth to the friend maybe it's the me who needs to be the lost for words-the silent kind.

Life can be so heavy and then it's my tongue that whips and spins  and out comes the pain.  I beg and I plead it's the thanks that you need-gratitude-the kind that comes from your heart.
Since when did I think my gratitude was so significant?  That I was so thankful?  That I had it all together?

     It's two steps forward and 5 steps backwards when our souls are the heavy trying to find that fullness from the joy instead of the dragging my baggage around feeling like an elephant is sitting on my chest!

 God tells us in , Matthew 11:29;      Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

     When did I start thinking that I am the fixer of others problems?  God doesn't need any human help! He is the one is who is gently pushing us to be totally reliant of Him-if we want rest for our souls.
      Looking back over my notes from church this Sunday..our pastor talked about God putting us in certain situations and how sometimes we won't see God do anything for our situation until we MOVE forward.
     Just like the Israelites, God put the Israelites in what seemed like a trap! It was a scary situation. They were backed into a corner with the sea on one side and the sound of the chariots (that were carrying the Egyptian soldiers) coming at them. They thought there was no escape!  How quickly they had gone from feeling bold after they had just destroyed everything of the Egyptians and taking all their riches. Then in a blink of an eye their boldness turned to FEAR!
How quickly do we go from boldness to fear?
God told Moses: "tell the people to stop praying and MOVE FORWARD." Sometimes God is not going to part the red sea until we start MOVING!!!!
God has forgiven our sins but how often are we caught looking back instead of forward?
There will be no rest for our souls in this life if we keep looking back.
Sometimes we need to stop standing and start moving!!!
trying to move forward
all of grace,
Robbie


Thankful for:
handwritten notes
family dinners
the sound of water
long walks
a husband who prays
hardwood floors that are scratched from the real life that is living on them
a friend that forgives
sea shells

(a quiet repost while Amy, and I are working today; and Jennifer worked all night. Thank you for your grace.)

How do we love the Lord with all of our heart, soul and mind?

     These last few weeks have felt like my fists were clenched the tight....... an inner battle was taking place..........a struggle for my very own soul........with me being my own worst enemy!
     Is it wrong for me to pray daily for love for the Father? Isn't this the greatest commandment of all?  So how?  How do we love the Lord God with all of our heart, soul and mind?

      Maybe it's the me who is terrified of the fullness of JOY!  Maybe this is where I want to live....afraid of what obedience might bring....? afraid to see the beauty in suffering.....I know suffering and sorrow........and pain....it is my job I see it every week.  Is this why my fists have been clenched the tight lately?  Maybe you haven't had a person who is dear to you struck by a terminal disease, or a tragic accident.....and if you haven't one day you might....and you may cry out "where are you God?"
     Some days I feel HIM.....feel His incredible sweet presence.......and it's then that I want to fall down at His feet and grab hold of His cloak.....and cry out "Jesus," son of David have mercy on me.  Holding on for dear life..............wanting so much to be  pleasing to Him. To know Him, long for Him.........(please help me Jesus with any area of my unbelief!)  I want to learn to live resurrected with Him.....I am a broken mama...............a broken friend........a broken daughter......with a broken down body, soul and mind. So how------How can I love you with all of me?
      As I drove to work Tuesday not knowing what would be thrown my way......I prayed even though I didn't feel him I kept telling myself -"by faith." It was then when I sat down that I saw him...........him who looked like he hadn't eaten in days.............he was my age but looked much older........the chemo had taken it's toll.........and this man was suffering.
     He had stage 4 cancer in the throat..............there was nothing else they could do.........it had spread  everywhere.....he was the waiting..............and suffering. Where is the beauty in ashes?
       As I had to wipe the feces from his body because he was too weak to do it for himself I asked him if he was OK? He mumbled, " he was sorry for what I had to do for him." There was the no pride..............me with my prideful self.............he was the definition of humility...where was my humbleness when a friend hurt my feelings?  Scripture doesn't lie..........only the humble will see God.
     For two days I wiped feces and cleaned the vomit off the floor.........the very smell of food would send him spinning and gaging...........is this it?....I thought to myself........Is this all I can do for him?
Obedience........is all I have.  Trying to trust.........wanting so badly to see..............see beauty in ashes. I murmur it quiet on the way home...............my thank yous to the king.....for using a broken down woman such as me! I am no longer praying for what path God has for me?  No longer am I  praying for what HE can do for me?  My path has been made clear......it is not for me to be the next, "Beth Moore." (who I absolutely love); Not for me to see how many good church activities that I can throw myself in.......it has been right in front of me this whole time and I didn't even realize it. My call is to live right here in the middle of "Babylon," refusing to eat and drink from the kings table and to resolve.  By resolving I mean to; "bend the lower." Bend the lower to wipe the feces from the patients and tell them that Jesus loves them............bend the lower to wipe vomit and tell them it is ok that Jesus sees your pain and sufffering.................he himself suffered.
     So what does it mean to love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul and mind?
     You love God with your HEART by loving Him will all of your emotions.(where-ever you are)
You love God with your Soul by loving Him will all of your the powers at your disposal.(Where has he placed you? Your path could be right in front of you) You love God with your mind by using your BRAIN!
 It is simple: "YOU SERVE."
He came to be a servant..........He who bent the lowest of the low. He lived only to die for messy us. So how much is it to ask that we die to self daily? Praying everyday that maybe I could spill out his grace that has been so generously poured out on me!
     .

all of grace,
Robbie

so thankful today;
for cleaning out attics
sweating in the 100 degree heat
birthday dinner for teen
clean closets
church service that makes you think
sunlight glistening in the trees
bird's nest in plants
Sunday dinners
softball practice starting up again
school projects in the summer
prayer time
giving thanks
seeing God in the everyday
paint chipping off the doors
baby turtle teen brings home
moving all the fish in the house to one tank! (praise God)
a lab who looks for me at the prayer bench
candles
summer storms
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Weekends are for fishing

      May your weekend be one of fishing...........fishing for more of HIM.
He said to them, “Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in, because of the quantity of fish. (John 21:6)

     Cast your net into the water of His Word this weekend................become fisher of men.

Jesus choose fishermen for the important job of spreading his word and building his church.

(A fish is the oldest Christian symbol. The Greek word for fish, ichthus, is an acrostic for the Greek words that translate to “Jesus Christ Son of God Savior.” )

Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men."(Matthew 4:19)

Tread out to fish in uncharted waters............go deep........let Him transform you into fishers of men.

all of grace,
Robbie

When life comes crashing down.....

 When she kneels at the bed to pray

    
the monitors that beep the life that's over........the IV drips that try to sustain..........the life that simply slips away.

I murmur it quiet.............is there anything that I can get you?

 the tears keep falling................and the woman-child who tries to bear it all whispers to me, "I just don't understand."

 I saw her from the hospital door..........she was kneeling at the bed............the tears that fell like rain from a torn face.........the face that looked like the life had been broken...........the hard kind of broken

     Hospitals with the noise..............the monitors that make it hard to hear......................she who can't speak breaths...............breaths in the pain..............her lungs expand..........and she sighs.......and this is the circle of life..............he is the young...........but the brain has stopped and their is the nothingness of  the activity................and where do we go from the now?..............and I murmur again the soft words of "his ways are not our ways..........and his thoughts are not are thoughts."
She nods............and tells me that he is a good man.............the kind that knows his God.
     Heaven's knocking............and after all isn't all of our days the numbered?
His glory is everywhere.........if only we could open our eyes to see..........she wipes the sadness from her eyes............wipes the hurt from her face..............the weariness shows on her face more than just today's..................maybe a lifetime of weariness...................I take my hand and place it in hers.................and whisper the silent words...........please God give her peace.........let her feel your grace
     The breathing in of the pain..........the pain of seeing a loved one suffer...............we wait and we breath......feeling the boxed in and full................... full of the sadness......full of the emptiness.........knowing that the stench of death is near...................Why does the death seem so final? Maybe it's the me the one who craves the easy that doesn't really believe in Christ?
       Who am I to stand here living life like death is the end?.............who am I that screams for more grace........when the world keeps turning and the people keep aching......don't I believe? that Christ is alive???
Can I truly believe in a world where people do suffer?
Christ knows suffering..............the kind of suffering we will never understand....
the woman-child looks back at me and smiles.............at the waiting place............where the two of us just sat.............sitting.......just the being...........without a word..............sometimes the best words are the words unsaid.........the kind where the Holy Spirit can do it's thing.............the kind of thing that is where we know that Christ lives!
She's the knowing...............knowing that she is walking...........walking away from the past and the pain...........and I watch her as her feet glide across the floor..........she looks back one last time at me with her weathered face wearing the pain like armor..........and whispers thank you..............thank you for all you have done.............and I ask myself what is it that I have really done?
all of grace,
Robbie


(a quiet repost; while I worked the last few days and making room for another teen who's moving in)