Monday, September 19, 2011

scales on our eyes

Acts 9: 10-19;
17 Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” 18 Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, 19 and after taking some food, he regained his strength.

     Do we really want the scales to fall from our very own eyes? I walk into my patients room in a hurry with all that lies ahead for me in the day. I put her breakfast in front of her and I notice she is the sweating hard. I ask her what is the wrong as she says the nothing....knowing that she is in her late 70's and fell from a roof trying to clean out her own gutters. Her bones are the broken all throughout her body. They just removed the breathing tube the day before. I stare deep into her eyes and YES I see His face. I wonder how this could be His plan? Knowing that life can be the unfair. I ask her why she is crying? She says that she can't feed herself and no-one has turned on the television for her so she has been sitting in the silence for days.
     I said where is your family? She tells me as the tears stream down her face, "I have no family!" (the husband has been dead for 20 years and she was the unable to have children) I feel my eyes to start the sting the sting of her pain that is the written all over her face.
     She sits the broken and it's the me who feels like I am staring at the face of Jesus....through all the lines on her face that looks as though she is the older than she is. I murmur is there the anything I can get you? She looks up at me with those tired eyes and says "a family," I gently lay my head on her chest and the tears stream down my face and I tell her "I will be your family!" I weep wanting so badly to take her pain make it the better! Whispering; "god please, take her pain away."
     As I stand up and look her in the eyes I take my hand and gently lift her chin up and I ask her so gently "do you know Jesus?" Seeing in her eyes that the hurt is much deeper than just the broken bones in her body....she is the broken. She tells me how she is ready to see the husband that she gave up so many years ago and doesn't want to live the alone anymore. I take my hand and slip it into hers and hold it while she talks.....she tells me she is a believer but she is the lonely and can't do it the anymore. I put off my work for the morning to just sit and listen....thinking that maybe she just needs to be the heard.
     I tell her that it's Jesus who understands more than we will ever understand. After all he is the one who sent His only Son! I ask her if I can humbly pray with her and she says the yes...... I quietly ask for the peace that only the "King of Kings can give." She smiles a quaint little smile and says she would like to practice her breathing exercises now so she want have to be put back on the breathing machine. I dry my eyes and say yes that is a good idea. Her neck is broken as well so the brace makes it the hard. But I can see the determination in her eyes that just maybe she has a faint little hope to hold on to. I tell her to breath in and blow out and the Incentive Spirometer only registers 500! I clap and say, "that is a start and not to give up."  I tell her we are going to have a great day and we will start by praising His name together today!
     Sometimes seeing the world through the lens of God can be over-whelming.......even painful at times.......but most of all feeling "love."  Love for complete strangers.....strangers that become family! 
Who's needs a family? "I will be your family!" Wanting so badly to see Jesus...
     And if I don't bend the how can He come in? If I don't give the all of me, how? How will He be magnified? If this precious lady needs a family how much I am willing to sacrifice? Sacrifice the drive to help her out every week? Yes I see the broken and yes I am the broken but I see redemption....."My redeemer lives!" I see the lines on her face!!!! In the worn out and the lonely....I see him!
all is grace,

thankful for:
faith to believe
past mercies
the power of His love
forgiveness of sins
softening heart
power to endure
my sister-n-law
birds that build a nest in my plants
our precious child from Belarus who lives with us every summer
 mission trips for my girls
 laughter throughout the house
 the middle child who texts how she is missing us
sisters that miss each other
Vacation Bible School
packing for Beach
early morning prayer with the King
long walks to think
learning to find joy in everything
for a God who took on flesh
for shutting my mouth
husband who is noisy" target="_blank">" >

(asking for your grace today; quiet repost...)