Monday, September 27, 2010


Psalm 51:17; The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.
Have you ever feel stagnant in your faith as if you are just going through the motions? Have you ever felt like sin is a wedge between you and God making him seem so distant? David felt this way when he sinned with Bathsheba and was confronted by the prophet! Psalm 51; is David's prayer of brokenness to God! David was a man after God's own heart. But he ignored God's word and fed his flesh.
Psalm 51:16; You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
David knew that there was nothing that could EARN God's favor back!
Just when I think I have a tiny little grasp on who God is; trying to live my life with good decisions that I think would be pleasing to God then God shows me just how far I am from knowing him at all. I think it would be easier to offer up a sacrifice than to let God work on my heart. We are born into this world as sinners. It is only natural for us to want to please ourselves instead of God.
Outward expressions cannot be a substitute for brokenness and a contrite heart!
Do we think others need help and we don't? I find myself going to church on Sundays and hearing the word of God and thinking only if so and so could hear that message! Only if that person could have been in the bible study I was in then they would act differently. I have seen people that say and do something so incredibly hateful and mean and then in the next breath claim that it was for God!!! As if to make themselves feel better when they seemed farther away from God than I could imagine. It feels like I am watching a movie in slow motion and it takes everything in me not to scream like a crazy person. Sometimes I have felt numb and distant. I asked God how? why? can this be from people who claim to be of you. I have realized that whatever other people decide to wrap their identity in; is not for me to control. I can only control me. It is me whose heart is not where it should be. It is me who God is gently whispering; "Why is your face so downcast?" "Why are you so angry?".....Maybe because in some ways I have allowed these relationships into my life, and they want to control me. Sometimes I feel their is no end to these toxic relationships. The only time I feel that I will truly be at peace is when I am in the arms of Jesus. The costumes are worn out! God is trying to unmask me. He is working on me from the inside out. It is not the external that he is concerned with. It is all about dying the flesh daily!!! No matter how bad it hurts, no matter how hard it seems. It is the one true sacrifice that leads to a worshipping heart. I want to know what it feels like to have a worshipping heart for God! I want to inherit the peace that suppresses all understanding? I want to thirst for Him like a deer pants for water; and I want to taste the living water. That is where the true peace lies. God has showed me lately that I need to ask myself some hard questions:
1) What place does the word of God have in my life?
2) Do I crave it everyday?
3) Is is a part of my daily life that I can't go without?
4) Am I daily seeking to know him through His word?
How to I get to a place of brokenness that God is looking for? Oh I know I have been brought to my knees before with all kinds of hurt and pain that I don't care to ever revisit. But have I ever known true brokenness like the spiritual kind? Have you ever known true brokeness?
God will NEVER require something of you or of me that hasn't been revealed to us through his word! You don't have to fully understand what He is asking you to do, but He will give you peace as you walk by FAITH and do it. His word has to become the most important thing in our lives that we own. It is your GPS system to this life. It is your answer to every question you have. It is alive and powerful. It is the Holy Spirit's job to make Jesus jump off the pages of the bible to you and help you have understanding, and knowledge. What does God want from you, from me? He wants us to be WOMEN OF THE WORD!!!!!! He doesn't want us to be light weights for Him. He wants to see us flex our spiritual muscle in a crisis situation. He wants to see us use what He has given us. Power that we don't even know we have.
God give us a hunger and a desire that can't be quenched; make us women who thirst for your word. Don't let us go one day without you Lord.
Praise you for you are the Ancient of Days..............................