Call 911- There is an emergency

           I pray for help everyday. I pray for peace and a calm spirit, but instead I just scream. My son told me yesterday that, as I screamed out the door at my 10 year old- no shoes- outside 40 degrees and raining, I sounded crazy. And you know what- I did. How can I be that Proverbs 31 women? Often I have considered to just surrender- to hang a white flag on my mailbox- To admit that I give up. The world won. I'm done. Surrender yes, but not to the world, but to God. So as always, I beg God to give me strength, to make me strong and ultimately to just keep my mouth shut and smile. Today started as any other day- woke up late- pushed snooze twice- jumped up- calmly singing to my three boys- wake up now we are late for school. I rush downstairs to let the dog out. It is pouring outside, so I cant wait to let him out- only to have  him covered in mud. I feed the fish and the 19 year old cat. I should be proud to have an animal that long, but I think she is so old out of spite, not that we take her to the vet. She hasn't been in 10  years and she only went then, cause my husband- the pilot- ran over her. But guess what - not a scratch on her.- The boys finally were downstairs. I threw a few things in their lunchbox and said, " Lets GO, now. " I had just cleaned off the dog's paws and agreed that he could ride with us to school. Well the leash was left outside and was soaked, so the boys opened the garage and Dodger, the dog, ran out. So just picture this- my three boys running, in the pouring rain, after Dodger. He is a 5 month old golden retriever puppy without a leash. It wasn't a pretty site. I'm running after all of them, of course- screaming. Well Dodger did stop running for a minute- just to poop in the neighbors nice green grass.  All I could think was- God I know this is not that big of a deal, but I dying here. I finally got everyone in the car, including the dog. I picked up the poop from the neighbor's yard. And as I used a plastic bag to pick up the prize, there was a hole in the bag and needless to say- I stuck my hand right in it. Just imagine the thoughts going through my head. I know we are suppose to rejoice in the Lord always, but I was having a hard time- just to survive this experience. I guess our father has a sense of humor and was laughing at me this morning. We all need to lighten up a little and enjoy life- even when it is messy and out of control. One day I will be begging for the chaos.

Amy

Husband......

The stew that sustained us....down to the last drop....I come in heavy hearted from the hospital...kick my infested shoes off to the side and hang my key up..

how was your day? then I hear it again and again and one of these woman child looking girls called today while I was plugging a hole that was shooting blood from a brain...

only wanting to appease their worldly lust and make their plans for another Saturday night....

trying hard to tell them that renounce is the only way to grace.....God's grace.......

I watch husband's hands as he feeds....noting the mapping of his veins.......longing for more of his sweet embrace......we share the quiet from the hard day.......I watch his hands move forward like grace........I think about the growing older.....the days that are numbered.......the loosing of time......with an deeper appreciation for the ones that hold my heart......with each passing year there is a deeper awareness that time is simply slipping away...................

I stare at his boots.....noting the mud.....the mud from life........life that can be messy...little one called today and said husband was on the roof and almost fell.....my heart skipped a beat for the one whom I love with the all of me.....so many sufferings at work of real people....people with God's grace that are falling from roofs..............

The stacking of more dishes.......all the while I am raging......raging at the women children who test me beyond my limits.....................wondering who is the one that is the sinner....knowing it is me the one with the words that damage.........the tongue that cuts like a razor............my life the one that empties into the dark night of the soul......why is it that I am rejecting.......the joy that comes my way?  I am only increasing the darkness by rejecting the joy......rejecting the joy doesn't stop the suffering for the ones that I care for......

the thoughts that something big is coming......maybe even the eternity.......maybe we have been chosen for such a time as this..................wanting the joy to pierce me down to the core.......wanting it to breed inside of me and be born again.....that transformation kind of thing......the one that comes from the heart....where the mouth does speak it......bringing forth the light....that only comes from his grace.........................

All of Grace,

Robbie

Invitation for the thirsty

Isaiah 55:1

"Come, all  you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! "
      The world offers us pleasures that last only a short time and only meets our physical needs.  What God offers us- when he says come to the waters, is "living water". God's salvation is food for our soul and will keep us fed for eternity. Without this "living water" we will starve spiritually. Salvation is free it will cost you nothing. Following Jesus will cost you everything. But the rewards are greater than we could ever imagine. Eternal life. No pain, no suffering, no heartache. Wow- how could anyone turn that incredible offer down?
Isaiah 55:6
" Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near.
      God tells us often, that he will NEVER leave us nor forsake us. It is us that moves away from him. Satan is a thief, who wants to steal, kill, and destroy us. He wants nothing more than to separate us from God. When we stray from God, our hearts become hardened. When we allow our hearts to be hard and cold, sin crawls itself into our lives. Very few fall suddenly from the spiritual wagon, the gradual fall, which is so much worse. The gradual way to HELL is harder to recognize and often starts with our tolerance for sin.
Amy

LENT.............................

Many Christians choose to fast during the lent season......but now I am learning that the focus should not be on depriving yourself of something as it should be on devoting yourself to YHWH......

Found this amazing book on Ann Voskamp's blog site....(a woman who has been used by God to change my life)..........more than she will ever know....whispering gently thank you God for Ann..........................

Taking in the cross....the grief........the crucifixion.....looking at my own life a friend and betrayal.....Oh how I am so much like the Peter....(all passion and no commitment)......ready...ready... to cut the ear off of anyone who messes with YHWH....

broken YES....desensitized YES with all the suffering in this mess we call life.....

Where is the beauty for ashes? Where is the beauty in suffering? Are we truly mourning? mourning the death that our very own sin has caused? Are we seeing our spirituality in things that are instant gratification? Living in a world that's all about tickle your ear the feel good kind of religion? That "new age," kind of religion........

"All of God's plans have the mark of the cross on them, and all His plans have DEATH to SELF in them.....-E.M. Bounds (1835-1913)

Lent is truly one of my favorite times; because it directs my attention toward my sin and God's grace........................................

This season has had a POWERFUL...effect on my personal walk with Jesus......Scripture is the heart of what I am doing......made a very hard decision to put seminary on hold for a while....crushed me hard.

Wanting change from deep...down to the core of who I am......

Oh how the blood...deals with me.........and that old rugged cross shows the real me...the ugly me................

I am always telling Amy; "We are our own worst enemies!" how true that rings.....how clever we are at turning everything around and making it all about us!

This lent season has challenged me......led me down a soul searching journey.....praying for three things..

1) Surrender-(how to surrender my mind to God)

2) Self-denial-(wanting to have no room for pride, vain or glory....)

3) Heart-transformation(wanting to be rid of any pride or the wanting of praise)

jumping off that spiritual treadmill...of running in place in my safe little space...of being a good bible student, teacher, speaker, writer.....

laying down the self......

my life is pretty from the outside....but when looking in it becomes the dark night of the soul....one who craves the easy....

one who is the taker instead of the giver.......

one who is lost...

one who is hollow....

one who feeds the flesh......

but.....

one who is seeking that blessed hope...

one who is seeking that glorious appearing of our Great God...

one who is seeking the reality of the cross.....

as I whisper again and again....God's grace, God's grace......more please....more...

I the taker......but one who knows

"my redeemer lives"

and God so graciously whispers into that stone cold heart of mine....

self-denial...........the remedy of it all....that causes MERCY to fall.....

wanting so badly to FALL.....fall into the arms of his grace....

All of grace,

Robbie

Kimyal New Testament launch in Indonesia

This is a gift of scripture to an Indonesia tribe that used to be head hunters and cannibals....NOW they are brother and sisters on a Bible Journey!!!! Praise God.....Incredible...please turn our music off and get your tissues ready....This is truly a miracle of God....
Just as the sign of Mary carrying GOD in the flesh inside her womb....this is truly a sign to remind us that ANYTHING  is possible with our God..........
May this weekend be one of remembering that Mary conceived JESUS without ANY help from man.......place your hope in Jesus......do not look to man......
Take time this weekend to be one of finding Christ in the unexpected places.....
All of Grace,
Robbie

for it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.”(Romans 14:11)

Feed the people..........

"taste and see that the Lord is good............."

 for He is the goodness of everything.............

Maria Skobtsova, a twentieth-century nun remembered in Russia as "Mother Maria," said:  At the Last Judgement I shall not be asked whether I was successful in my ascetic exercises, nor how many bows and prostrations I made.....Instead I shall be asked if I fed the hungry, clothed the naked, visited the sick and the prisoners?"

If time is truly short, how much different would you live your life? Am I being true to who I am in Christ? Am I living my life giving? Am I surrendering?

 Or am I just content.......content to live in my safe little space.......with  my busy little life?

What is it that God is requiring of our very soul?

SELF-SURRENDER.........

Am I simply claiming to be something I am not?

I claim I am a Christ follower..........but have I surrendered my heart?

If I have surrendered my heart, am I laying down self?

When Christ comes back what will He find in my heart?

Will he find me.......me who takes care of her own?

I am a wondering Israelite........who can see that there is a God......and I still forget...

hoarding and storing away for my own....is the empty....the emptiness of my soul.....

It takes the every out of everyday to come hungry to vision that cross to picture the blood that dripped from His body the one true and final sacrifice........

Help us Lord to remember that possessions, power and fame are not ours but Grace is for all.....

to remember what Easter is truly all about during this lent season....the laying down of self.....surrendering to the one who gave His all.......
wanting so badly to self-deny

All of Grace..

Robbie

Spiritual Strength....

  This is what I woke up to this morning in my front yard!!!! So precious...........



Look at that face.........



 What kind of week are you having? Has it been exhausting? Emotional? Professionally discouraging? Financially challenging? Depressing? Physical rest alone is not the answer. Prayer where you cry out to God; I just can't do this anymore! HELP! I don't mean the kind of cry where you are demanding. I mean the desperation cry. The more desperate we become for God the more he will show Himself to us.

     Have you ever doubted? I know I have! I am so thankful for Mark 9:24; God, I believe, help my unbelief. I love that scripture, and I praise God that He included it. It is like it is an invitation from God. He is saying be real with me. Don't pretend. He already knows anyway. So be Honest!! Sometimes I wonder where are you God? That is where the faith comes in. This is where God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He is who He says He is. So many people have had to walk a path in life that is hard and they are still struggling with that today. This is where the darkness is. (the dark night of the soul) 

When you don't spend time in prayer alone you are robbing yourself of spiritual strength that you need to overcome or endure something. One reason we need to spend time in prayer everyday is because the spirit realm is real!! Satan is waiting like a roaring lion to devour us. Do you understand that he wants nothing more than to keep us from drawing closer to God. It is a dark world out there and in the spirit realm those of us that belong to Christ have a light inside of us and it is a red flag to satan. He wants to put that light out. Do you ever wonder why or have you ever seen someone who isn't a believer and their life always seems to go so smoothly? Well they don't have a light the "Holy Spirit" inside of them. So satan doesn't mess with them, they are already his so he is coming after the ones who have the Holy Spirit in them. So when trials and tribulations come praise God. Spend time looking for God in the dark times of your life. Remember that when you feel disconnected with God he may being doing his best work. Just because he is silent doesn't mean that he is not there. Sometimes you have to look for God in the darkness. In the dry places of your life. And if you hang on long enough you just might see the back side of his glory pass you by. Sometimes the quickest path to the light is actually to run into the darkness! Look at Psalms 23:4; Even when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I'll fear no evil because You're with me. It takes courage to run into the darkness. God is faithful. Sometimes you are not going to feel it. Your not going to understand it. None of us will ever fully grasp it. Just praise him! PRAISE him in the darkness. He gives and He takes away. Somedays you are going to feel like you can't go on. When the waves hit and knock you flat on your back get up and say Father I trust You!! Read God's promises back to him. PRAY.
     If you and I want more of his peace that passes all understanding, especially when we are confronting a crisis or under a lot of pressure, then we need the spiritual strength and refreshing that only comes from spending time in prayer and reading his word. There are no secrets. Access is for all believers.
by grace alone........